[he knows he can't. . . promise anything about tomorrow. he know that there's a chance Kara will walk out of the ring alive, and a chance that he won't. it's unfair to promise her that Kara will still be with them after tomorrow]
[but--]
Because we're going to save everyone, aren't we?
[he can promise that she won't lose him. not in the way that matters]
[and he expects too much of her ability to stay stable through this. it's so hard. it's so achingly hard and even though she knows that she will keep running forward even if only out of spite -
there's no guarantee her heart won't break in the process.]
But I guess that doesn't matter in a place like this.
.... I think I didn't completely understand what he was saying, for a while. When he would say... he wanted to keep his time with me, even if everything else in this place is awful.
Even if we bring everyone back... we're going to be apart again immediately. Even if I'll find my way to him...
[ . . . ]
I think it must be hard - to live so long that you know what it's like to live past those you love. And to count every second you have knowing it could be the last.
[well, what he was going to say doesn't work at all with that information. it was going to be something about standing for herself, even without Ookurikara there. . . something about using him for strength, but learning to rely on her own strength in times he couldn't be there to support her]
[but that would have just made it far more clear that he didn't understand how things were for them after all, right. . .?]
. . . yeah.
[so he agrees with her instead, a sad sort of expression flickering on his features]
[it's something that she and kara don't talk about often - because there is no solving it. lili an will die long before ookurikara breaks, regardless of what time they have in this place. she wanted to be selfish, she wanted to treasure what they had left together.
and now it feels like all of that is going to be cut short.]
.... it - [can't be helped is what she's about to say. but it could. if people didn't vote for him.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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and yet.]
... I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose him, Akira.
[and maybe that's what it all boils down to.]
Him and Dimitri both - so soon. I... I can't....
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[he knows he can't. . . promise anything about tomorrow. he know that there's a chance Kara will walk out of the ring alive, and a chance that he won't. it's unfair to promise her that Kara will still be with them after tomorrow]
[but--]
Because we're going to save everyone, aren't we?
[he can promise that she won't lose him. not in the way that matters]
No matter what happens tomorrow, you won't.
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... you don't know what it's like for us.
[and he expects too much of her ability to stay stable through this. it's so hard. it's so achingly hard and even though she knows that she will keep running forward even if only out of spite -
there's no guarantee her heart won't break in the process.]
But I guess that doesn't matter in a place like this.
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. . . what it's like for who? You and Ookurikara?
[he is asking for clarification but he has something to say if that's what she means]
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.... I think I didn't completely understand what he was saying, for a while. When he would say... he wanted to keep his time with me, even if everything else in this place is awful.
Even if we bring everyone back... we're going to be apart again immediately. Even if I'll find my way to him...
[ . . . ]
I think it must be hard - to live so long that you know what it's like to live past those you love. And to count every second you have knowing it could be the last.
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[well, what he was going to say doesn't work at all with that information. it was going to be something about standing for herself, even without Ookurikara there. . . something about using him for strength, but learning to rely on her own strength in times he couldn't be there to support her]
[but that would have just made it far more clear that he didn't understand how things were for them after all, right. . .?]
. . . yeah.
[so he agrees with her instead, a sad sort of expression flickering on his features]
I can't imagine how painful that must be.
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and now it feels like all of that is going to be cut short.]
.... it - [can't be helped is what she's about to say. but it could. if people didn't vote for him.]
... Is what it is.
Just one more thing that's been taken from him.