coastal | voicemail.

[There's a quick huff because-]

Stop treating me as a noble. I've already been exiled from the capital.

[... admittedly her prison is really nice and she can't quite get rid of her blood but - in her head, she thinks that she's essentially been disowned. But that's not what they're focusing on and not what she cares to focus on.]

As Lili [aka who she is, no more and no less] ... I consider him a respectable person. A lot of people here are very annoying in how energetic they are, but he's pleasantly level-headed. And.... he's not a bad person to talk to.

[About things that matter.]

[ his eyebrows raise in curiosity, but that's not a topic he'll touch on; because, ultimately, it doesn't matter to him whether or not she's been exiled from wherever. ]

Even if you've been exiled or whatever, that doesn't change how little of the world you really know, does it?

[ it's just an observation, not something mentioned to intentionally provoke her, whether it may do so or not — but once again, he doesn't linger on it for too long, since what she says afterwards is far more important. while he does consider himself a good judge of character, it's rare for someone to actually exceed all of his sky-high standards —

wait a second... annoying as in how energetic they are... surely, she can't mean him... but what if she does mean him! so there's this audible gasp when he puts two and two together, behind the hand at his mouth; and when he speaks up, he sounds completely heartbroken. ]

By that... do you mean that I'm annoying? [ gosh, lili, look at what you've done... ]

[There's a moment of irritation because - she's heard those words before, almost exactly from her father. That she is a child who has seen but a small part of the world and then thinks she knows all of it.]

You don't know what I've seen.

[Anarchy, chaos, disaster, illness, cruelty, slavery. Even more now than before, she refuses to be told that her experiences are nothing just because she used to possess a title that was mostly for show anyway. Still though, it also makes her rather passive to his heartbroken look, raising a brow.]

Sometimes you are. You assume all nobles are alike and even though I told you not to, you see me differently now, don't you?

[STONE COLD.]

But I don't hate you for it. [Since his annoyances come with.... some good intentions, from what she can tell. And prejudices are hard to come over for most, so since he's yet to be outright cruel, she doesn't consider it horrendous.] Don't be upset. If it's just part of who you are, it's fine. You shouldn't have to change just because others might like your behavior.

[ WOW STONE COLD... except he's quite used to being spoken to like this, so all her words manage to get out of him is a simple shrug, as he discloses something else. ]

Then, would it make you feel better if I told you I hated everyone equally?

[ which is... another secret. slowly but surely, lili will unlock all the secrets of tragic sword route. ] See, I like people — but in return, they treat me horribly, and then I hate them again. Until I get too lonely, and then I try to love them again, even after everything they've done.

[ it's a cycle of never-ending loneliness! but he's never enjoyed dwelling on his history for longer than he needs to, especially in front of others, because that's just excessive of him... so he continues, focusing his gaze on his plate, instead. ]

I say that I don't like nobles, but the truth is — I don't see you any differently. I just don't like any other kind of person, either.

[ there's a small pause, before he adds: ] At least, that's what I'd like to say.

[Lili looks up at that, curious.

Lili has only hated a very few people in her life - so this doesn't resound with her in any sort of way. At the very least, she doesn't feel her pride bristling in any way, there is no defensiveness inspired by being told that she's hated - but instead she's surprised. Surprised by how sad she suddenly feels.]

... You're so confusing.

[Give her a second to massage her temples as she tries to parse her way through this, trying her best to understand Tsurumaru even though their experiences are so vastly different.]

But you... don't, right? Is that what you mean to say - because you want to see people be happy, even if it's a little dangerous... like with the fireworks.

[ . . . ]

This is what I mean - that you're annoying, but you're not bad. [Despite everything, she doesn't seem to take it back. Instead, she just pouts.] And I hate what's been done to you, whether you believe me or not. I do... want you to be loved, as you deserve to be—

[She still won't let it go.]

But I hope that, more than anything, you don't have to be lonely or betrayed anymore.

[That, at least, she can understand.]

[ it's strange, hearing himself defined through someone else — that someone else knows him well enough and still finds who he is acceptable. he does like people, he doesn't like people, but either way, it's true that he does have a lot of feelings for people in general, both positive and negative. ]

Yeah, that's what I mean.

[ about seeing people be happy, he means. and that's all he says, because saying any more would be redundant. she gets it, he gets it, because in the end — ]

It's not like I can do anything about it now, you know? [ unless he goes through the trouble of changing history... which he would do, but apparently, that's "corrupt" and rude??? and unacceptable??? just wtf... can't a sword just change history without being accused of bad things?? gosh!

but then, he lets out an abrupt laugh, as if he's trying to clear up the air. ] Ahaha, sorry! I didn't mean to turn this meeting into something sad. Here, let's talk about something you want to talk about — it's your call.

Edited (IM SORRY!!!) 2016-05-11 03:37 (UTC)

[PLEASE DON'T TALK TO HER ABOUT HISTORY she promised Kashuu that she wouldn't discuss it with the swords.... because it's too dangerous territory.

Yet then there's the chance to talk about something that she wants to know.

So in typical Lili fashion, it's absolutely impossible for her to focus on herself or to ask blindly to know more about Tsuru. Rather, she actually... thinks she might know more abou Tsurumaru than any other sword, even though their meetings are sporadic and often filled with emotion and tension.

Instead, it's that emotion and tension that brings her back to something that she sincerely wants to know]

Do you think... any progress has been made?

[Since she decided to help him-]

I don't think I've been able to do much and if there's something that you think that I should do then, I will - but... do you feel any more acceptable being...

[The word is more awkward now. She fumbles with it.]

—Loved?

[ well, he certainly wasn't expecting lili to talk about the weather or her latest online purchase, but that's still a deep question.

but for someone who's constantly weaving half-truths and hiding his stash of secrets where no one should be able to find them, there's something about lili that unconsciously makes him do away with all of that. from day one, he's been more honest with her than he has with people that he's known for centuries, though it wasn't out of choice, exactly — and that honesty is just a recurring trend in every one of their encounters afterwards.

and it recurs even now, because at the end of the day, he's never not been honest with her, even if it makes him a handful. ]

You've done a lot, though. Can't you tell? [ well, no, tsuru... she can't tell. that's why she's asking? ]

You accept my invitations — with some coaxing, but that's fine. You spend time with me as if I'm not any different, and treat me as you would anyone else. You also don't hide your emotions well, and it shows when you're even the smallest bit angry, happy, or sad — even if that might be inconvenient for you, it makes you more honest of a person, and that's something I really appreciate.

And the fact that you continue being yourself when you're around me — is what makes me feel more acceptable in being —

[ unlike her, he doesn't stumble; his sentence flows fluidly. ]

—loved.

[She really couldn't tell.

There's surprise clear on her face - just as he'd said, she's a terribly open book with her feelings pouring out for the world to see - and she's not sure what to make of his explanation. She hadn't done much... she still doesn't think that she does, but she supposes in a way that she understands. Those little gestures of kindness could mean the world to people like... them.

"Them" in the way that Lili and Tsurumaru both lived in distrust, though they lived on two sides of the same coin. But it's honesty that they both seek, opting for not being fooled by the people around them and it's honesty that they give each other always.

Even if it's occasionally fussed into messes like these too.

So she's pausing for a second, still stunned.]

[And a moment later, her mouth curls up at the corners into a smile - an expression that Lili doesn't wear often. It happens when she doesn't even notice, when the happiness and bubbly feelings find her when her guard is down. When she can't even begin to start a defense against what she really feels.]

If that's the case then....

I'm relieved.

[A small shake of her head.]

I don't always understand... but if I can help you as I said that I would, then that's...

[That's all I could hope for.]

Good to hear.

voicemail.

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why is this happening

wtf tsuru where did this come from

HI I FUCKED UP IM SORRY!!!!

Re: HI I FUCKED UP IM SORRY!!!!

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