( there's something about nero's throat that burns, a hand raised as she press against the skin — the same place where a knife had penetrated her throat. it should not hurt before for some reason, this area is starting to bother her. another sip of the drink and it's scalding as it runs down her throat, the servant setting it down and wondering for what reason. perhaps it's only a reminder of something she should not forget, something she won't ever forget. what she's done in the past has been done and she will not regret it, but she feels that she's over-exaggerating. maybe this child has only brought her throat to become sore but when has talking ever stopped nero from she does best?
clearing her throat, there's a familiar sound that comes to her ears. it reminds her of the days the children would cry for their emperor, hoping she would return and embrace them once again. but perhaps, to hear such a thing coming from the person beside her is shocking. the emperor's eyes widen for only a moment to see that lili has began sobbing out of nowhere. for what reason, she isn't sure and she wonders if the drink had not settled with her correctly. )
Speak, why is it that your face becomes red and yet not with satisfaction or happiness! The tears that paint your cheeks and fall, why must you become the cloud to rain on your own shining day. ( listen, nero may be a bitch sometimes but even she knows that to see a woman become upset or even cry is a personal offence to her. she's someone who knows the beauties and the arts so witnessing this for some unknown reason, she can't help but become curious. her words are calm, trying to figure out what it could have been. it's all out of nowhere and those heavy sobs can't just be from anything. sadly, nero doesn't know that a part of her life has been settled in lili's memories, that she knows the time that hakuno had found pathetic but for nero, she had only been doing her best. )
I will put my ill-will aside, what is it that ails you?
( does nero even have a right from how she spoken to lili moments ago? or is it that lili knows too much and nero has a right to know? or maybe, she finds some agreement in her words though they see things different but it's almost through the same eyes. )
[And in truth, Lili hates this place. She hates the fact that it will force her to delve into the lives of others without permission. It's happened on so many occasions now and - she thinks that truly, some things ought to be kept sacred. Clearly this world doesn't agree. So she's still trying to calm her breaths as she sorts out her thoughts - but it's hard.
It's hard when it hits so close to home.
Lili would do everything for her people, has done everything for her people. Ever inch of her being, every fibre of her soul is dedicated to caring for her lands and she's never thought once about the importance of being loved in return. Yet feeling it through that memory, hearing it in Nero's voice, realizing that there - there really might be a place for love when it comes to duty and responsibility.... it's almost scary.
Like a door that Lili had never bothered to look into, it's wrenched open wide now, the contents of it foreign to her.]
I'm sorry....
[Nero doesn't deserve to have her privacy so violated.]
I saw - I know... what happened to you.
ugh theres a marina and the diamonds song for this
Mu? What do you know of me? What is there to see when there is nothing? ( looking both left and right, she doesn't quite understand what has brought on these tears. though it's her words that has brought saber to ease into silence, what does she know about this emperor or can she only say that just to play around. the tears that fall down the female's cheeks look nothing but genuine, that she had actually seen something she hadn't mean to peek into.
her apology, the emperor would take it as an apology to all her rash words but that doesn't seem fit. leans forward, a hand reaching out and quickly flicking away a tear that slowly rolls down her finger. taking a look at such an emotion, she flicks it to the side. ) Tears can tell many things, they are much more expressive than other actions. Nothing is more expressive than I but tears are rather.. your tears. They do tell me a lot, from how they run down your cheeks and make such a vibrant red mark upon pristine features. Your body has grown use to them, speak, what is it that I had brought you to tears.
( a pause as she raises a brow. ) Tell me now.
( though that is a command, she stares at lili in waiting for what it could have been, whatever can shake up such a girl that had a thick coating that wouldn't break by any of her words. ) It is nothing but a rapid change, what is it that I could have said or done, that will break you down. You were much stronger before.
there's a marina and the diamonds song for everything
Certainly, there are many things. Lili will cry when she's distressed, when she's scared, when she's worried for the well-being of her beloved friends. However in a far more simpler, less blemished sense, Lili will cry when confronted with an overwhelming, unbelievable level of cruelty. Even now she's trying to wipe at her own tears, trying to calm the unbearable beating of her heart, and the internal pain she feels at the very idea of someone never accomplishing what they wanted their whole life -
Something like love.]
You.... You loved your people, didn't you?
[Lili was able to tell before that she was talking to someone of rank, someone of status who is used to throwing around such flowery words, but.... it's different if it's not all talk. If there's truly concern and care for one's country behind it all.
But the thing is that her people didn't understand and that just gets Lili to sob briefly.]
It's impossible - to find rulers who serve their people properly anymore. It's not easy, so—
Why?
[What did Nero deserve to be removed from her place?
What kind of world is it where even the most devoted leaders aren't allowed to be with the kingdom they love?]
its time for fear & loathing that sour jam of the day!
My people. ( those words, they hold much meaning to her and even now after all the years that has passed. she took care of them, did as much as she could to ensure a successful life and made sure they were loved (in her own way). it's true, yes she did love them, she loved them more than anything since saber had a heart that could love more than anyone. love isn't a simple word to her, with the masses that she placed deeply into her heart and had been willing to help and make sure of their happiness, create festivals, bring them to her theater and even end taxes so their life had been joyful.
she would rebuild what she could so that the populace would have better than before after the great fire, something that many people know about. it does not pain her to be asked this question, she would not lie about it and somehow, lili has learned just a little of her life. )
My people? Loved? No. Love. It is love. My love still remains for them. I love my people, even now as time has passed and even I can't count how many years ago it has been. I love them will all my heart, I had been foolish back then for not understanding the love that they had. To love and to continue to love, their lives are not here anymore but they will remain in my heart. A place that they will never leave.
( a hand raises as she places it over her chest where that heart resides. ) Those who cannot rule should be easily replaced for those that know what they are doing, it is not themselves that they are taking care of by wealth. They must also make sure the people around them are also happy, listen to and aware of their problems.
( crossing her legs, there's a serious look upon her features. ) If you know of the love I have for my people, and yet you say rulers are so hard: time has passed and those who knew how to and found their deaths. The times have changed and there is a time where death will consume those who rule, it's only up to them with how they're willing to live their life. I do not regret.
( her lips purse into a straight line as she looks away for a moment. ) If there is no communication between you and your people, what can anyone do for them. I held communication. ( or so she thought. she also did not hold the love that they knew, it was not enough to reach out to them so in return, the hand that she had been dealt. ) You understand, don't you? The people should and always be loved by their Emperor. For me, that's how I feel anyway. Like a rose, the thorns pricked my hands but I continued to ensure that I watered the blooming flowers. They continued to thrive, even after.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ITS OK I UNDERSTAND, SHE HAD HER HEART BROKEN BY HER PEOPLE!!! but she still loves them
clearing her throat, there's a familiar sound that comes to her ears. it reminds her of the days the children would cry for their emperor, hoping she would return and embrace them once again. but perhaps, to hear such a thing coming from the person beside her is shocking. the emperor's eyes widen for only a moment to see that lili has began sobbing out of nowhere. for what reason, she isn't sure and she wonders if the drink had not settled with her correctly. )
Speak, why is it that your face becomes red and yet not with satisfaction or happiness! The tears that paint your cheeks and fall, why must you become the cloud to rain on your own shining day. ( listen, nero may be a bitch sometimes but even she knows that to see a woman become upset or even cry is a personal offence to her. she's someone who knows the beauties and the arts so witnessing this for some unknown reason, she can't help but become curious. her words are calm, trying to figure out what it could have been. it's all out of nowhere and those heavy sobs can't just be from anything. sadly, nero doesn't know that a part of her life has been settled in lili's memories, that she knows the time that hakuno had found pathetic but for nero, she had only been doing her best. )
I will put my ill-will aside, what is it that ails you?
( does nero even have a right from how she spoken to lili moments ago? or is it that lili knows too much and nero has a right to know? or maybe, she finds some agreement in her words though they see things different but it's almost through the same eyes. )
time for all hearts to be broken
[And in truth, Lili hates this place. She hates the fact that it will force her to delve into the lives of others without permission. It's happened on so many occasions now and - she thinks that truly, some things ought to be kept sacred. Clearly this world doesn't agree. So she's still trying to calm her breaths as she sorts out her thoughts - but it's hard.
It's hard when it hits so close to home.
Lili would do everything for her people, has done everything for her people. Ever inch of her being, every fibre of her soul is dedicated to caring for her lands and she's never thought once about the importance of being loved in return. Yet feeling it through that memory, hearing it in Nero's voice, realizing that there - there really might be a place for love when it comes to duty and responsibility.... it's almost scary.
Like a door that Lili had never bothered to look into, it's wrenched open wide now, the contents of it foreign to her.]
I'm sorry....
[Nero doesn't deserve to have her privacy so violated.]
I saw - I know... what happened to you.
ugh theres a marina and the diamonds song for this
her apology, the emperor would take it as an apology to all her rash words but that doesn't seem fit. leans forward, a hand reaching out and quickly flicking away a tear that slowly rolls down her finger. taking a look at such an emotion, she flicks it to the side. ) Tears can tell many things, they are much more expressive than other actions. Nothing is more expressive than I but tears are rather.. your tears. They do tell me a lot, from how they run down your cheeks and make such a vibrant red mark upon pristine features. Your body has grown use to them, speak, what is it that I had brought you to tears.
( a pause as she raises a brow. ) Tell me now.
( though that is a command, she stares at lili in waiting for what it could have been, whatever can shake up such a girl that had a thick coating that wouldn't break by any of her words. ) It is nothing but a rapid change, what is it that I could have said or done, that will break you down. You were much stronger before.
there's a marina and the diamonds song for everything
Certainly, there are many things. Lili will cry when she's distressed, when she's scared, when she's worried for the well-being of her beloved friends. However in a far more simpler, less blemished sense, Lili will cry when confronted with an overwhelming, unbelievable level of cruelty. Even now she's trying to wipe at her own tears, trying to calm the unbearable beating of her heart, and the internal pain she feels at the very idea of someone never accomplishing what they wanted their whole life -
Something like love.]
You.... You loved your people, didn't you?
[Lili was able to tell before that she was talking to someone of rank, someone of status who is used to throwing around such flowery words, but.... it's different if it's not all talk. If there's truly concern and care for one's country behind it all.
But the thing is that her people didn't understand and that just gets Lili to sob briefly.]
It's impossible - to find rulers who serve their people properly anymore. It's not easy, so—
Why?
[What did Nero deserve to be removed from her place?
What kind of world is it where even the most devoted leaders aren't allowed to be with the kingdom they love?]
its time for fear & loathing that sour jam of the day!
she would rebuild what she could so that the populace would have better than before after the great fire, something that many people know about. it does not pain her to be asked this question, she would not lie about it and somehow, lili has learned just a little of her life. )
My people? Loved? No. Love. It is love. My love still remains for them. I love my people, even now as time has passed and even I can't count how many years ago it has been. I love them will all my heart, I had been foolish back then for not understanding the love that they had. To love and to continue to love, their lives are not here anymore but they will remain in my heart. A place that they will never leave.
( a hand raises as she places it over her chest where that heart resides. ) Those who cannot rule should be easily replaced for those that know what they are doing, it is not themselves that they are taking care of by wealth. They must also make sure the people around them are also happy, listen to and aware of their problems.
( crossing her legs, there's a serious look upon her features. ) If you know of the love I have for my people, and yet you say rulers are so hard: time has passed and those who knew how to and found their deaths. The times have changed and there is a time where death will consume those who rule, it's only up to them with how they're willing to live their life. I do not regret.
( her lips purse into a straight line as she looks away for a moment. ) If there is no communication between you and your people, what can anyone do for them. I held communication. ( or so she thought. she also did not hold the love that they knew, it was not enough to reach out to them so in return, the hand that she had been dealt. ) You understand, don't you? The people should and always be loved by their Emperor. For me, that's how I feel anyway. Like a rose, the thorns pricked my hands but I continued to ensure that I watered the blooming flowers. They continued to thrive, even after.