coastal | [ kara & lili are romance, somehow ]

...At least it wasn't for nothing, then. We'll need those items, and the clinic at the rate we're going. Are you going to tell everyone about the items, too?

... that's something I'm going to talk to Flayn and Yin Yu about. None of them can immediately save someone's life, aside from the healing serum. I don't mind making that known, but I might leave the bag itself somewhere else so no one tries to take it to cover up a murder.

[lili is pretty open to sharing, but none of these are items that can clear corruption or save a life, so they're better left for investigative uses, aren't they]

Otherwise I don't mind telling the people I've decided to trust for now.

The healing serum should be made public at least. But I won't tell anyone until you do.

[ that's up to the three of them, after all. that said... kara meets her gaze evenly. ]

I'm glad you're safe now. [ . . . ] Are you going back to your cabin for the curfew tonight?

If they're alright with it, that's what I intend on announcing if we're to have another trial this weekend.

[like. it's a very likely if. but. she still wants to pretend,, she looks back at him then and seems a little confused at the question because - ]

Aren't I going to be with you?

[it's thursday, after all. she takes it for granted that they'll be together.]

[ ...oh.

hm.

we're just not going to acknowledge how pleased that makes him. moving on. ]

I was going to stay in the gardens this week.

[she nods at that, and reaches out to the fire to warm her hands.]

Then we're going to the gardens. I won't get in your way, but I'd rather not have you be out of my sight tonight.

[she's injured but she's also not exactly going to let that stop her from anything because. it's lili.

also it's funny that she's saying this to him when she's the one who disappeared for breakin but it's fine]

I'm not the one who's injured.

[please stop talking about her injuries

she's going to turn to him and lean up to give him a kiss as if to end the argument before it begins]

I'm alive.

If you want to keep an eye on me, you should say so.

[don't say so, she's going to get embarrassed]

[ he looks her dead in the eyes and says: ]

I do.

[hm

dammit.

she looks surprised at that - somehow - and ends up looking away.]

... Then you can.

[if it's kara, she'll accept having someone look after her. she'll move her hand back then, warmed from the fire so she can reach for his.]

But I meant what I said - that I'd always make it back to you.

[ he'll accept that, and because it's lili, give her a gentle squeeze back. ]

I'd prefer that you didn't have to prove it like this.

[ sigh. ]

You don't need me to look after you. I know that. But I still don't like being unable to do anything.

You could always ask to heal me and see if you get a task where you have to confess everything you like about me?

[she has room for jokes, apparently. even if they sound a little tired.

but she shakes her head at that, and just shifts so that she sits closer to him. the fire is nice, but ookurikara is warm too.]

We're going to do whatever it takes to break this place and sometimes that means getting into trouble apart. [that's just a fact, and lili knows that she's going to hate it when kara comes stumbling out of somewhere injured and she had no idea about it] But I don't like hearing you say that you're not doing anything, when you're the one stuck with me afterward.

I like being next to you more than I like anything else in this stupid place.

I know. It's the same way in battle, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. [ he gives her shoulder, fully bandaged though it may be, a dismayed glance. ] Especially when it's so close to what happened before.

[ there's still a healthy amount of anger inside him, for having been refused a chance to react as himself at the time. but now that he can feel every ounce of worry, so soon after getting lili back, so soon after losing tsuru a second time... he wonders if emma wasn't right to do what she did. ]

...That's not a very high standard, you know.

[ this place sucks ]

[ . . . she supposes that she can't blame him for that. even when she'd died before, she would've wanted something more clean. she would've wanted to be killed by someone that she trusted, and not have led to the life of another ending along with her own. but she can only shake her head then, and turns to him more fully.]

I don't expect you to like it - but we can't exactly spar out whatever you're feeling right now.

But if you're going to be difficult then -

[there's the barest hesitation, before she reaches up, not unlike what she did a few nights before. she encourages him down closer to her, so that she can rest their foreheads together, close.]

I like being next to you more than I like - almost everything else. So just...

Stay with me.

I might ask Dimitri to spar instead - or Yasusada, maybe. You should focus on healing.

[ there is a quiet sigh, but kara moves as guided easily enough. he stays there for a moment, quiet, before opening his eyes to meet hers, full of promise. ]

I'm not going anywhere.

[ he didn't last time. he won't leave this time, either. so really, kara thinks that this is up to her. ]

[there is a genuine moment where she absolutely looks like she wants to be a brat and just say

'oh how easily replaced am i'

that's what this look is]

[ - but she bites her tongue long enough to hear kara's promise, and she seems to relax with it. she reflects on it again, how sometimes all it takes is being next to ookurikara for her to feel centered again, balanced.

especially when she thinks about how close she was to not making it back after all.

it's something that will never leave her mouth - the way that she felt scared in that moment, terrified and so nearly frozen in place. if she'd been a bit slower, could the shark have chomped on her neck again? would her lungs have filled up with water once more? how narrowly did she escape dying again?

instead, what she says is - ]

... neither am I.

[soft in the space between them before she closes the space between their lips again, as if sealing a promise. perhaps she's asking for too much lately, she thinks, but -

she's never really known anything but how to take, and take, and take.]

[ if she were to comment about being replaced, kara would have had an answer ready. since she doesn't, he says nothing more, content to simply be near, knowing she's alive in this moment. maybe lili will be the target tonight. maybe ookurikara himself will be. it's impossible to know until the time arrives, so all kara knows is that he wants to relish this time with her while he can.

he doesn't mind if lili asks for more and more, as long as she doesn't leave him behind again. so leaning into the kiss is easy, just another way to prove to them both that they're here to stay. ]

[ . . . it feels a little odd to her, even now. to have someone who will sit at her side, who will let her pull him close by the fireside, who will meet her where she needs to be met. it's a comfort she never expected to receive, and one that she leans into now as she lingers again in the kiss.

and she thinks that if she lets herself indulge enough, she won't have to think about how cold her rib cage still feels or how her shoulder is proof that in some ways she still isn't strong enough to come out of a situation unscathed. of course she isn't. when she pulls back, she tries to hold onto this moment between the two of them, and not having to fight her way to the surface, wanting to gasp for air and not saltwater.

. . . .

or maybe she needs this moment to extend just a little bit longer, claiming a second kiss on the heels of the first one, just a little more urgent.

it's fine to rely on ookurikara in this way too, isn't it?]

[ maybe if he knew what was going through lili's mind, he'd have the right words to soothe her. he'd tell her that even the best warriors meet situations they can't quite overcome in the way they'd like, that even the most elite commanders can fail when the tide turns unexpectedly. it's the reality of war, and this place is, after all, just another battlefield.

he can't take her death from her, or the experience she'd just gone through. all kara can hope to do is maybe put her heart at ease, as he stays with her tonight. so it's in that pause that he begins to pull back and reach for lili's hand instead -

- but she moves faster, and surprises him with a second kiss. there's something more to it this time, and kara isn't sure what that is or what it means. he doesn't waste time thinking about it though, pushing those thoughts from his mind and trusting his instincts to let him meet lili equally. ookurikara may just be a clueless sword when it comes to relationships most of the time, but it feels like lili needs this. so he doesn't mind accommodating her, and compromises by letting his hand come to rest atop hers. ]

[it's hard, when you're not very good with words in the first place. there are some that feel like they're getting stuck in her throat all over again, even though ookurikara is the person that she finds the easiest to talk to, even out of everything. but this time the words aren't lodged there out of embarrassment, or out of flustered feelings that she can't manage to voice -

now it's something that sound a little like I wish that when I close my eyes, I could see you instead of my failures.

but for now instinct will have to be enough, because even lili doesn't know how to put everything that sits in her chest into words. she's purposeful and focused with everyone else, unflinching and certain of the work that lies ahead of them, but she's always been emotional. even now, she's filled to the brim everything that she feels and doesn't know how to express.

all that she knows is that it's a little easier, having her heartbeat race because she gets to show affection to her beloved than having it hammer in her chest out of a need to survive, even if some part of her might be getting the two feelings mixed up but - is there anything wrong with confirming that she feels alive?

she's a little flushed when she pulls away, more for breath than anything else this time - and she skips the step of fluster and settles for pressing her face where his shoulder meets his neck to hide. it's fine.]

[ for once, he doesn't call lili out on blushing when she pulls away. it's not that he doesn't notice - of course he does, it's lili - but even ookurikara, terrible with emotions as he is, can tell when someone just needs a moment. lili has had a long, possibly traumatic day. so there is no teasing, no light, dry comments as she leans against him, just his other hand resting gently on the small of her back. ]

[she thinks she's awfully lucky.

it doesn't solve everything - there's a chance that lili will be spending the next few evenings startled awake by nightmares no matter how much she's able to keep it together in public - but it solves enough. she lets her hand slip into his properly, interlacing their fingers as she does, her other arm circles around him in turn, holding on as she lets her hand curl into the fabric of his shirt to stay close.

and it's - brief, and tentative, but when words fail her again, she presses her lips against his neck. a short, affectionate thank you.]

[ any other night, and kara might be content to stay here for as long as lili wants. having her in his arms is… comfortable, more than he might have thought just a few weeks ago. and after the day she’s had, he thinks she needs this, somehow.

he doesn’t like having to pull them back to reality when they could both really use a break. but neither of them would choose to do nothing over even the chance of being able to help, so after a few more moments of tranquility, he breaks the silence, voice soft. ]

The curfew should be starting soon.

[ . . . he's right. he's right and even if she's tired, and starting to feel a little bit of the pain now that the adrenaline and anger is wearing off, she has to keep moving. so she lets herself enjoy this moment for just a little bit longer before she shifts, sitting up properly again and letting go of him.

sort of, she's still going to hold onto his hand.]

... gardens, right? I'm going to get a blanket - and then we can go.

[they just have to keep going.]

[ kara & lili are romance, somehow ]

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