coastal | [ kara & lili are romance, somehow ]

[ as she begins to pull away, there is a spike of alarm in kara's. before lili can go too far, he leans forward to grab her hand in his own, to hold onto her as tightly as he ever has. ]

You don't have to apologize. And you don't have to ask.

[ he'll say it again and again, until lili believes him. ookurikara won't be scared away by the emotions in her, wild and always wanting more, always taking whatever he's willing to give. he'd said it before, hadn't he? ookurikara is hers, and that alone means refusing to shy away from what she has to give him in return, even when it's far more than he expected.

he won't run from lili, or anything she feels. and he won't let her go, until she tires of him. he doesn't know how much more he can give than that, but for lili, he will try. ]

[ . . . . . . . . . . . she's realizing how this is starting to work against her.

it happens almost immediately - the surprise in the way that he reaches for her, because she's definitely startled. she wasn't expecting that. coupled with his words, there's the rising embarrassment, based on the way that her cheeks start to color. oh my god. it's such a warm sentiment, one that really makes her think that she has no reason to doubt him ever - but it's also flusters her so, so badly.

they're new feelings - but they also just compound on top of everything that she'd already been feeling before. the adoration mixes with the way her heart stutters, and honestly she's nearly knocked off her feet by how much she feels, a hurricane that is immediate passed onto kara.]

O-Okay but—

[THIS IS EMBARRASSING, TO KNOW THAT HE'S FEELING HOW EMBARRASSED SHE IS, WHICH IS MAKING HER MORE EMBARRASSED]

Maybe - let go of me. For now? Please?

[she never says please.

she's mortified. spare her.]

[ ...lili never says please.

that alone is enough to surprise him into releasing here, after all, and only after another few seconds does her embarrassment fade from his heart. maybe there is a blush lingering on kara's cheeks, a residual, secondhand fluster, but he pays no mind to that. ]

...You don't have to be so embarrassed with me.

[ even after feeling it for himself, he isn't sure that he understands why. if they love each other, then what is there to be embarrassed by? ]

[gods - she breathes out when he lets go of her, and kara will honestly feel some of that relief as the connection fades. when he speaks, she just pouts]

I don't.... It's not something I can control, you know.

[she would love to get to decide how embarrassed she is by something...!!]

[ if he's at all hurt by the relief lili feels, it doesn't show as kara looks away. but maybe she'll feel it, too, right as the connection fades away. ]

I know. [ he does - the heart is something wild, with no way of reining it in. that's why it's so hard to deal with, isn't it? that's why kara runs from it, when he can. ] But I wish you weren't.

[NO

THE HURT

SHE IMMEDIATELY SWERVES - ]

Hey. It's not that I don't trust you, or that I don't want to hold onto you. [SHE IMMEDIATELY WANTS TO GET THIS RIGHT] It's just...

.... It's almost too much for me - that you're aware of everything that I feel.

[it's almost scary.]

But I don't... know how to fix it....

[she doesn't know how to feel less, or even if kara's okay with all of her emotions, she doesn't know if she is.]

I won't touch you if you don't want me to.

[ that much he can promise, right off hand, even as he struggles to find the words to follow. ]

It's... [ hard to describe, for one, kara thinks with a sigh. he doesn't have the words for it, either as a sword or as a sword warrior. ] It's... a lot.

[ and that sounds so pathetic, so belittling, but it's all kara can think of to say. ]

But I don't think you're something that needs to be fixed.

[she doesn't hear it as belittling - she hears it as a fact. lili is always so full of emotions, to the point that her father would confine her in her room if she ever got too worked up over something. she stands out in the water tribe, where the people are calm as still water.

it's the second part that seems to throw her off.]

.... I'm - going to pull away if it ever gets to be too much. And you should pull away too, if it does. I'll understand.

[and she'll be open about that, but she will reach out her hand to him again, palm up.]

.... but just be patient with me until I can reach out for you again, okay?

[if he really wants her to try this, to endure it with him, even if she gets embarrassed. she can't promise she'll do it easily, or that she won't pull away if she ever feels like it'll get so much that her heart can't take it.

but she'll try, for him.]

[ it's... confusing, when lili is asking for distance, but she reaches out to him anyway. so he doesn't take her hand, or even move. ]

...Alright. I'll wait.

[confusing is what she feels right now! because she's not really ready for this, but it seemed to hurt kara when she pulled away, so she -

she wants to be braver, if it's for him.

. . . . ]

I'm trying now, Kara.

[and she'll more intentionally reach out for his hand - but he'll have to close the distance between them, if he wants to.]

[ ...he hesitates, as if expecting lili to change her mind. but a moment later, he moves, and takes her hand. with contact comes a flood of uncertainty, right beside that same, unwavering affection that kara holds for her. if lili wants distance while this is happening, that's fine. - but he doesn't know where that will end. he'll need her to guide him on this.

but he is, as always, here, and has no plans of leaving lili's side. even if her emotions are a little overwhelming. ]

[ . . . well, he'll be met with uncertainty that matches his. the nervousness that comes with the contact, especially knowing just how strong her emotions can feel. the worry that maybe it'll be too much for him - though there is something different, that only ookurikara will feel. there is a lack of fear, no apprehension that he'd ever abandon her. in its place there is something a little like guilt - you have to endure this with me, because you chose me and i chose you - but there is no wondering if this is going to be the thing to break them.

if he's stood by her this long, she believes in him that he won't run even at this. he'll feel that too. that point where love and loyalty mix.

but she'll at least try to get them to do something else - there's a pull, an urge for distraction.]

... I finished my tea - let's go do something else?

[if she's moving, maybe it'll be enough to calm her emotions so that they aren't lingering in this limbo

even if the constant pulse of everything that lili feels still thrums in the background, incessant.]

[ the suggestion of a distraction brings with it some relief. if all they do is sit here with this connection, kara would start to feel antsy very quickly, because there is no doubt that the two of them feel very strongly, but there is only so much of that he can take sitting still.

and, well. being out of the public eye might help, as well - both for lili's sake, and his. so kara nods, and rises to his feet. ]

Did you have something in mind?

Do you have a task that you want to do?

[and she'll move to get up then and once they put away dishes or however it works here in the mess hall, she'll gently tug him outside. the mention of tasks gets lili to feel the slightest spark of anxiety - what will the prizes be this week, who's going to win - coupled with the usual flame of determination that comes with all that she does.]

Or we can go back to the petting zoo... or the island...

[ while lili feels anxiety, kara has little to offer but thoughtful calm and quiet determination. it's just another form of battle, to him. one team will win, and there's no knowing who until they get there, but kara can rest easily enough knowing he'll do everything he can to be on that winning team. it's a numbers game, and his team is at a disadvantage, but if it surprised him last week, it can happen again. ]

I wouldn't mind seeing the animals again.

[ the island just doesn't have the same excitement as the animals do. it isn't soft and cute like they are. however... ]

But I haven't done Shadows' task yet.

[ as much as he would love to go straight to see the animals... ]

[ . . . . everyone else is so calm compared to her, it's a little odd. he might even feel that reflected back to him - the slight wonder that comes with what it must like to be thoughtful without also feeling pressed for time.

and the amusement. when he mentions the animals.]

So we'll have to clean quickly in order to see the animals sooner.

[she doesn't mind - spending time with him. there's so much fondness in how she moves forward.]

[ he's only calm because he's not angry let's be real here.

that said, there is a flare of that same excitement when lili says they can go see the animals later. something to look forward to! something more than the a potentially empty promise of rewards.

...there is a flash of dismay as they approach the entertainment room, though. he hasn't been back since the break-in, but... it's just a room. it's fine, probably, just a bunch of annoying memories. ]

Quickly, then.

[there's confusion in response to the dismay - before it seems to click that this is where he was before for the break-in. right. worry swirls briefly, but she gives his hand a squeeze anyway as they head inside.

... messy... cords everywhere.... bad.

but she'll lean up to give him a brief kiss (coupled with the fluttering feeling of embarrassment, right next to a warm buzz of affection and fondness) before she lets go of his hand to clean]

We'll make quick work of it.

[ in that moment before she lets go, she'll feel a hum of pleasure and affection in return - but then it's gone, and it's time to get to work. there are dvd and game cases scattered all over the floor, so he gets right to picking those up. ]

I don't know what most of this even is. We don't have it at the citadel.

Games...? I think?

[and she'll go to pick up some cords, working on untangling them....]

Tsurumaru would love all of this. Maybe we should send him some through the directors.

...Is that what you all did, after breaking? Played games?

[ as if pulled in by the gravity of kara's judgment, a number of games hurl themselves at him from the shelves. somehow he manages to dodge them all, but he looks pretty startled? ]

[ah

she notices the way that the games hurl themselves off and lili just GLARES AT THE SHELVES AS IF IT'LL DO ANYTHING]

.... are you alright?

[SHE HATES THIS PLACE DON'T MESS WITH HER SWORD

a huff]

No, we sparred and cooked. Did tasks - I just know he would spend some of his time playing games with others.

Fine. It just caught me off guard.

[ but nothing else seems to be leaping at him for now, so. he sighs and goes to pick those up. ]

As long as the work gets done first, I guess that's fine.

[she'll at least succeed in untangling this batch of cords, winding them as she sighs]

Mm. We did what we could over there, but it was still otherwise a lot of time with very few people I actually liked.

[everyone she tolerated made it to endgame?]

Even when Kaoru joined you?

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