coastal | [ kara & lili are romance, somehow ]

[well that didn't resolve much of anything at all, did it.

she's going to reach for kara's hand as soon as the trial is over and - honestly, she's too tired to really manage much more for a bit. though as they walk out, and as they start to head elsewhere, she can't help but find herself asking - ]

... can I selfishly ask for something?

[ he'll let her take his hand, and glance at her, head tilted questioningly. ]

What?

[ . . . . once they're far away enough from everyone, she stops walking and looks up at him.]

I know that you're dealing with a lot of difficult feelings, and it's hard for you to pay attention to me right now - and I've been doing my best to be respectful of that. I don't want to force you, so... I acknowledge I'm being selfish.

So you can say no.

[ . . . . but - ]

But I...

If it's the last night, which I don't want it to be, because I don't want to die here - or if we're regardless all going home tomorrow... I...

[ugh. she turns a little red and her gaze falls then, embarrassed and ashamed both.]

... please don't... I don't - want to continue as we have been... for the last day...

[she doesn't want to deal with no kisses, no affection, no confirmations of how much they mean to each other? not when they're all about to either die or leave?]

[ his heart clenches with guilt, and ookurikara has to turn his eyes away. that's... ugh, why is the heart so hard to understand? why is it all so complicated? ]

...I'm sorry, Lili. This isn't... it's not what I wanted, either.

[ . . . . she brings her free hand up to his cheek, encouraging him to look at her.]

I know.

And I accept your apology.

[because he says he's not mad at her - but he's acting like he is, but she loves him too much to be angry at him for it. not when she's aware it's unintentional.]

... but if it's not what you want, and it's not what I want - why are we doing it?

[ alright. that's fine. when she guides his face back to look at her, lili may realizes that he's struggling again, both with his heart and his words, so all he says is: ]

You know why.

[ doesn't she? ]

.... I know why, technically. Because you're still having difficulty processing what you're feeling after what happened.

[she lets her thumb run against his cheek.]

.... and I don't want to rush you, or force you - so if it's really impossible, you can tell me, and I'll try to understand.

[she'll do her best - she'll always do her best for kara.

. . . ]

But if we really don't have that much time left, together, like this - I wanted to at least.... ask if you'd be willing to put those feelings aside just for a little while, for me.

...It's still hard. [ he'll admit that much. ] I'm still angry. I... I'm not sure how to make that go away.

[ when he looks at lili, he can tell how much it's bothering her. of course it is, when all they wanted was what little time they had and - here is kara, doing the same thing he always does and trying to step back from things that hurt. and of course, it's just hurting them both more, but kara doesn't know what he's supposed to do. this isn't something he'd expected to have to learn.

hesitantly, he'll give her hand a squeeze. ]

But... I can try to ignore it, for you. I do still love you, Lili, you know that.

[ . . . . . there's a sigh that escapes her then, just at hearing those words. like a relief, to have that much confirmation. she doesn't mind enduring it while kara figures out his emotions, and if they had more time than this, she probably would've allowed it to keep going.

but they don't.

and she wants to hold onto as much as she can.]

.... I like to hear it.

[she admits that quietly, even as she interlaces their fingers together hesitantly.

she got spoiled here - as kara grew more affectionate with her. she grew accustomed to all the ways that he let her know that she was cared for, and loved. she wants them all again, greedy as she is.]

[ he gives a tired sigh. ]

I know. I'm sorry.

[ hurting lili was the last thing he wanted... but in trying to figure himself out, that's. all he's done, huh. she deserves better than this.

...but he is, still, feeling more selfish than usual. so he, carefully, tugs her into his arms, keeping the embrace loose enough that she can easily pull away, if she wants. ]

[on the contrary, it's attention she's so happy to claim now that it's being offered to her. when he tugs her into his arms, she wraps her own around him securely, letting him know that she's very happy with him taking her suggestion. her tail swishes behind her contentedly.]

Mm.

[and she won't initiate a kiss first, but she has no problem letting her head rest on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as she shuts her eyes.]

I forgive you, my rude, difficult dragon. I always will.

[ he'll just. hold her for a second, and then - ]

...You make a cute cat, you know.

[sdflkdjsfljkdf

she's just going to huff at that, even if she turns a little red]

Because I finally got ears you approve of?

[HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN

SINCE KARA SAID THE BUNNIES ARE CUTER THAN HER]

I always liked your ears.

[ because they're yours, he doesn't say, as he reaches over to give one of her ears a light scritch. ]

...But they're cuter now.

[STOP.

she's turning red, even though her ear twitches against his touch, and she just hides her face against his shoulder.]

You're -

Really just doing what you want now, huh?!

[isn't this literally what she asked for.

she clearly can't be too upset, because she's so happy she's purring a little. don't mention it.]

[ oh ]

Are you purring?

[INTERNALLY SHRIEKS]

I'm hungry! Let's - cook?!

[STOOOOOP]

[ he does not move. he just gives her more scritches and listens closely for purrs. ]

[SHE'S WHINING.]

Karaaaaaaa.

[

even as she buries her face in his shoulder more, it doesn't drown out her happy purring because he's paying attention to her again, even if it's embarrassing.]

[ aaaaaaaa. ]

...It's cute. But I'd you want me to stop, I will.

[she's going to grumble, ear flicking irritably.]

You don't think I'm cute normally? Horrible.

Of course I do.

Being a cat just makes you cuter.

[ . . . . . . hrrrrrgghghghg.

she just turns completely red then as she falls silent.

and continues to quietly purr because she likes it when he's nice to her. she's so easy for kara specifically.]

[ well if she's going to allow it, he will keep it up for a little while longer.

after a long moment, he speaks softly. ]

...I like it when you're happy.

[ . . . . . ugggghhhh. she doesn't mind allowing it, if only because it's the most attention she's gotten from him all week.

even if admittedly not exactly the attention she wants. she peers up at him when he speaks, even if her face is red.]

.... you know no one makes me - happy as much as you do, right?

[not as often, not in the same way - she loves kara so intensely it's so hard to compare.]

week 6, post-trial

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