[ mm. when he feels the shaking, he shifts a little so he can slip an arm around her — it’s not tight and all encompassing enough to be a hug, but it’s more contact that before. light enough for her to pull away, but still with some weight to it. ]
And you’ve got to see this through, right? [ ... ] I’d be an asshole if I up and left you to do that alone now.
[ . . . . . . . . it takes her a long time to respond. she doesn't pull away. her fingertips find the fabric of his shirt and curl in - a weak, almost fearful movement, like she's afraid to believe in anything enough to hold onto right now.]
..... everyone keeps - saying things like that.
[it's soft, and it's sad.]
That I have to make it.
That I have to keep going.
And I... I will...
[she'll keep moving forward for as long as she can, but.]
Why can't everyone spare some of that for each other...? If I could take all the care and concern I've been given, and just - give more of it to him...
[ he’s quiet while she’s talking, but once she’s done he speaks up again: ]
I’m sure there’s some nice sentiments in there from better people. But... you should see it through because you’re earned that damn right. You put in as much as you have, and this place takes more than it deserves from you in return?
Then fuck ‘em up. Get even. Drag this place down at the seams and the people responsible for it with it.
You deserve to point all your anger at something. Sure, everyone does. The difference is I think you can.
[ and also cuck dana 2k20 ] I’m not that nice of a guy that I’m gonna tell you to keep going for any other reason at this point. We all deserve revenge, but some of us deserve it more than others.
[it seems like if nothing else will propel her, will get her legs to move forward despite everything - there is still spite.]
I.... want to carve out the heart of whatever put this entire stupid place into motion, and I want to watch it break the same as it's tried to break all of us....!
[ . . . but it feels so hard right now. and she can't stop shaking. and she wants to cry so, so badly.
Yeah. I’ve had more than enough this. We all have.
[ she’s a very small, very strong girl. he knows some people like that, and they keep going. It’s just... y’know. Up to other people around them to make sure they don’t burn out completely in the process of tearing down the status quo to make a new one entirely. ]
... You’re making something? Need a hand to get it done?
[ . . . they all have. it resonates with her and she thinks about what they all must be feeling - does that mean then that her pain is just what others have been feeling? it feels especially unjust that kara's being taken from her like this, but perhaps that is her bias -
. . . she shakes her head quietly at his question, and doesn't quite let go.]
It's.... dinner - for the two of us. Normally... we make it together...
I know, but you’ll get it done quicker if you’ve got an extra pair of hands helping.
[ he doesn’t move as long as she’s wanting to remain where she is. come to think of it, this is the closest he’s come in however many weeks this and the mansion before it had been going, to losing someone he’d say he’s close to. closer than other people.
and he’s pissed as hell about it, but it can’t be comparable to what lili’s going through. or ... beau a few weeks ago, and back in the mansion when Wright had died. ]
Better than burning more time here than you have to.
everyone else - she wouldn't really be able to forgive herself if she allowed them to help cook for kara, when they're the ones who refused to give him the care and consideration he deserved. but... kara likes ash. he's one of the few people who she thinks would be allowed.
so her fingers uncurl from him, even though she clenches them back into fists immediately to hide how they tremble.]
ash waits for lili to step back of her own accord, before he turns back to look at what she was making. it's not like he knows the dish, but he does know how to cook so... it'll be fine.
[given that dana still doesn't know how to cook and also we are too depressed to look up recipes, assume that lili gives ash instructions on how they need to prepare this delicious and depressing japanese food.
Isn't that how it always is? Whatever happens, we've gotta show no mercy this week. I don't want to give this place the satisfication of winning.
[ he doesn't even know as much as some of the others, but... shit they've got out of worse predicaments before. they'll just have to try again, and give no room for that stupid pink fucker to fight back. ]
[she says as certain and as dangerously as anything.]
Now, more than ever, I will not tolerate failure. Not after all that we've lost. If this place wants to make us suffer, so be it, but only know that whatever we endure, we will pay back a hundred times over!
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[ mm. when he feels the shaking, he shifts a little so he can slip an arm around her — it’s not tight and all encompassing enough to be a hug, but it’s more contact that before. light enough for her to pull away, but still with some weight to it. ]
And you’ve got to see this through, right? [ ... ] I’d be an asshole if I up and left you to do that alone now.
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..... everyone keeps - saying things like that.
[it's soft, and it's sad.]
That I have to make it.
That I have to keep going.
And I... I will...
[she'll keep moving forward for as long as she can, but.]
Why can't everyone spare some of that for each other...? If I could take all the care and concern I've been given, and just - give more of it to him...
[would they have ever ended up in this mess?]
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[ he’s quiet while she’s talking, but once she’s done he speaks up again: ]
I’m sure there’s some nice sentiments in there from better people. But... you should see it through because you’re earned that damn right. You put in as much as you have, and this place takes more than it deserves from you in return?
Then fuck ‘em up. Get even. Drag this place down at the seams and the people responsible for it with it.
You deserve to point all your anger at something. Sure, everyone does. The difference is I think you can.
[ and also cuck dana 2k20 ] I’m not that nice of a guy that I’m gonna tell you to keep going for any other reason at this point. We all deserve revenge, but some of us deserve it more than others.
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[it seems like if nothing else will propel her, will get her legs to move forward despite everything - there is still spite.]
I.... want to carve out the heart of whatever put this entire stupid place into motion, and I want to watch it break the same as it's tried to break all of us....!
[ . . . but it feels so hard right now. and she can't stop shaking. and she wants to cry so, so badly.
but tears won't solve anything.]
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Yeah. I’ve had more than enough this. We all have.
[ she’s a very small, very strong girl. he knows some people like that, and they keep going. It’s just... y’know. Up to other people around them to make sure they don’t burn out completely in the process of tearing down the status quo to make a new one entirely. ]
... You’re making something? Need a hand to get it done?
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. . . she shakes her head quietly at his question, and doesn't quite let go.]
It's.... dinner - for the two of us. Normally... we make it together...
[ . . . ]
I can handle it.
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I know, but you’ll get it done quicker if you’ve got an extra pair of hands helping.
[ he doesn’t move as long as she’s wanting to remain where she is. come to think of it, this is the closest he’s come in however many weeks this and the mansion before it had been going, to losing someone he’d say he’s close to. closer than other people.
and he’s pissed as hell about it, but it can’t be comparable to what lili’s going through. or ... beau a few weeks ago, and back in the mansion when Wright had died. ]
Better than burning more time here than you have to.
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everyone else - she wouldn't really be able to forgive herself if she allowed them to help cook for kara, when they're the ones who refused to give him the care and consideration he deserved. but... kara likes ash. he's one of the few people who she thinks would be allowed.
so her fingers uncurl from him, even though she clenches them back into fists immediately to hide how they tremble.]
.... okay.
[just.
if it'll get her back to kara faster, okay.]
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ash waits for lili to step back of her own accord, before he turns back to look at what she was making. it's not like he knows the dish, but he does know how to cook so... it'll be fine.
it's a distraction, as well. ]
Alright.
Just tell me what needs doing.
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but off she goes to do her part.]
.... I feel like I should be sending you ahead.
So I know he's not alone until I get back.
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... They're be other people trying to see him. Whether he wants them to or not.
[ which is an annoying thought in and of itself. ]
'Sides, this is about getting you back there quicker. Better we both pitch in and you're back in half the time, right?
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Mm.
[she can't deny that she wants to be at his side, that she wants to run to him, and she wants to stay with him for as long as she possibly can.]
... how is it that we're approaching the end... and it suddenly feels like I don't have enough time...
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[ he doesn't even know as much as some of the others, but... shit they've got out of worse predicaments before. they'll just have to try again, and give no room for that stupid pink fucker to fight back. ]
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[she says as certain and as dangerously as anything.]
Now, more than ever, I will not tolerate failure. Not after all that we've lost. If this place wants to make us suffer, so be it, but only know that whatever we endure, we will pay back a hundred times over!
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That's more like it.
Give them hell. It's only fair, when it's what they tried to do to us first.