voicemail.
[Following the "record your voicemail at the beep" message--]
What? Who gave you the right to order me around? -- W-Wait, was that the beep?
I wasn't prepared--!! [a whispered hiss:] How do you get this thing to stop-?!
[Beep!
You know the drill! IC Inbox for voice/video/action threads for whatever occasion.]
What? Who gave you the right to order me around? -- W-Wait, was that the beep?
I wasn't prepared--!! [a whispered hiss:] How do you get this thing to stop-?!
[Beep!
You know the drill! IC Inbox for voice/video/action threads for whatever occasion.]
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I know you wouldn't. [Because he's a little too trusting in the general goodness and sensibility of others, well-intentioned though it is. Lili is a good person, so of course she wouldn't put other people into situations where they might struggle.
But, more importantly (as far as he's concerned, anyway):]
I'm worried about you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to help out! Sitting around waiting for stuff to happen is really the worst. But I mean, we can't just attack 'em without a plan either, get it? It's probably gonna be a reaaally long process. I'm no good at strategy so I have to wait a lot too, but sometimes that's just unavoidable. Better than making a bad plan fast and having it blow up, right?
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She blinks and can't help the confusion that crosses her face, brows knitting together even as her face heats up a bit because that's -- that's a really genuine thing to say?! (And she's a little mad. Why can't she say things like that?) Still though it's not enough to settle her as she frowns after and her fingers tighten around the mask in her hand, the other clenching into a fist as she hates how powerless she feels.]
You... You don't need to concern yourself with me!
[Please don't - she hates involving people.]
I know that I'm weak and that I can't do anything.... you don't have to rub it in, you know! [Ah. That's not exactly what he was saying, though.] I'll get stronger and learn more about this world and then.....
[She trails off..... because she doesn't have an answer. And then what? It's a delicate situation and she.... hasn't thought it all the way through.]
It has to get better.
one day this cr will kill me, i can already feel it in my bones
So there are a lot of things in here that he could address, and address quite closely at that - that she can do the things she works at, that weakness can be rectified and that it isn't always a bad thing in the first place, that he practically has to concern himself with her now because he's helped her out of the swamp and they're supposed to go to the aquarium soon. Instead, his reply is brief and simple.]
Yeah, it does. But it's not gonna get better if people are reckless.
[Which is what he's worried about more than any perceived weakness or strength or lack of knowledge or desire to learn.]
If you wanna do something about it, you can work with me and my comrades, okay? We're all heading toward the same goal, anyway. The more of us working together, the better our chances are. [When people run off by themselves, that's when Bad Things happen.
He's also a massive hypocrite, though.]
it's already killing me i'll see you in hell i guess
It's an offer to work with Kashuu and the other swords - who are also undoubtedly strong, she's sure. For half a second, she lets herself consider it. It's not like they'd be untrustworthy, not if they're friends with someone like Kashuu or as kind as Mutsu or as loyal as Kousetsu. And perhaps there will be even more people that she hasn't met yet -- but if Kashuu is vouching for them, then they'll probably be fine too.
But isn't this just how like Yona and the others offered to help her recently? Then in her own carelessness, she managed to get both herself and Yona in more trouble... and then troubled the rest of them with having to save them.
So despite the hope in her eyes, she just gives one answer:]
No.
[She doesn't want to work with people.
Not until she can stand next to them without being a liability -- until then, they're better off separate before she causes more trouble.]
ugh puts on my traveling hat and descends
Just "no"?
[While he can ballpark some reasons, he doesn't actually want to hazard a direct guess in case he's way off the mark. But that means he'd need her to fill in the blanks here, and he already knows Lili is awful at explaining herself or saying what she means.]
packs bags and jumps down the rabbit hole
She can't meet his eyes though so she glances elsewhere and her shoulders fall a bit -- no longer in the rigid line of determination but almost a little bit... sad. Wouldn't it be nice to work with people again? But then she thinks back to the list of people who have fallen just for the sake of protecting her.
Her hands come up to her chest as the idea of Kashuu getting injured crosses her mind--
And she immediately dispels it. No, she can't let that happen.]
No.
I... I will fight in my own way -- however and whenever I can. [Her voice started uncertain at first - but eventually her backbones resurfaces as she continues with more certainty.] But I can't have others trying to take care of me at the same time. I don't want that anymore.
whispers how could this happen to us
So if it's not that...]
It's something else, right?
[His head cants to the side, and he's clearly forgotten about the creepyass haunted mask since he very nearly sets his hands on his hips. ...He's a sword, so he's not very good at handling these things tactfully. Emotions are still a complicated mess to him; that's why he doesn't intend to press the subject very far. He always trips up in this arena.]
Well, it's not like I'm gonna force you to join us or anything. I'm just saying you need to be super careful, that's all.
we've made our mistakes....
Except he'd said it just earlier--
"I'm worried about you."
She opens her mouth and tries to find the words, hoping that maybe they'll tumble out and....
A soft shake of her head.]
It's not the first time I've faced difficult odds. [And she likes to think she's learned her lesson from things like this before.] I... should be fine. Don't waste your time worrying about me.
we've made our many, many mistakes....
place a finger directly on the center of her forehead.]
Bad way to say it! That's no good at all. I don't waste my time on anything, y'know? So if I do something, it's not a waste! And that's that.
[So!! He'll worry about Lili if he wants! And it won't be a waste of time, or of worry, or of anything else! It'll probably be a waste of Lili's sanity if he ever does something stupid because he thinks she's in trouble, but that's just the life of people who befriend swords in general.]
So! You can do whatever you wanna do, but if you start talking about yourself like that again or do anything dumb just 'cause you don't wanna be a bother or whatever, I'm gonna have to beat some sense into you. [That's no way to talk to a lady buT HE DOESN'T CARE they're all fellow warriors here, clearly.]
and now we're on the highway to hell
[She flinches a little bit because she actually does enjoy her personal space a bit.... but she's less opposed to invasions of it from people that she trusts and for one reason or another, Kashuu is one of those people. Still though it's just getting a blush to rise on her cheeks before she reaches up to gently brush away his hand with the back of her hand.
A short huff.]
Don't talk to me like that....! I'm not one of your hefty, brutish friends.
[BEATING SENSE INTO HER??? C'MON, KASHUU.]
no subject
The dojo is everywhere they go, by the way. It's symbolic.
He'll allow her to brush his hand away though, and he even leans back a little, settling his mask-free hand against his hip just for emphasis.]
Sometimes that's the only way you can deal with people! [Or swords. Mostly swords. Swords and ye olde sword wielders...] Especially if you're dealing with the super stubborn ones. Words aren't always enough, right?
[Spoken like someone who solves half of his serious problems by fighting.]
no subject
[Lili can recognize that she has a habit of getting... physical..... slamming her fist into walls and things in order to command attention.
What a delicate flower.
But still she's just going to flip her hair over her shoulder and huff, setting both of her hands on her hips as well. Two can play at that posturing game!!]
But it's not the same! Don't talk to me like that. We're not going to fight.
[She doesn't even like thinking of it....?!]
no subject
Eh? So if I asked you to be my sparring partner, you'd turn me down? No fun, no fun.
[Good thing he isn't Yamato, at least?! Who would definitely both A) try to get her to spar for real and then B) not hold back at all because he's a damn maniac.]
no subject
Whenever I get better, if you really want -- but sparring is different from saying that you'll beat people up. Really.... it's so obvious that you're a sword sometimes!
[What.
Lili that doesn't even make sense.
You just made that up.]
no subject
But Lili, that doesn't even make sense. Here, he'll even be kind enough to point that out.]
It should be obvious all the time! I am a sword, you know.
no subject
[Listen.
She's not wrong.
But still she's just going to raise a brow as she makes her point.]
Yet you can walk and talk and you have your own opinions - apparently enough to make a blog about them - it's different. You're different.
no subject
She isn't really wrong about that part, either?! He can't argue with that at all.]
...Yeah, well. I guess most of my comrades say I'm like, one of the most "human" of us.
[Since he cares about fashion and food and blogs and he likes going out to aquariums and making friends... More than one person has been like "WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BEING A GOOD SWORD THOUGH", and he honestly doesn't ever have an answer.]
But it's not a bad-different or anything, yeah?
no subject
No, of course not. Don't be stupid.
[And she prickles a little bit because--]
Did someone tell you it was bad?
[SHE'LL FIGHT THEM.]
no subject
Not really! [His comrades are dumb and socially stilted sometimes, but none of them are outright malicious. No one ever says cruel things intentionally.]
Some of 'em just think it's pointless, is all. And I mean, it's not like you need blogs or parfaits or carnivals when you're made to fight, but- [A sloping shrug.] -I like all of that stuff, so whatever.
[WHATEVER.]
no subject
But she still huffs a bit at that, her feathers ruffle a bit -- other swords are telling Kashuu that what he likes is pointless?! That's not okay.]
How idiotic. It's absolutely "whatever".
[ . . . . yeah. But she just frowns at that.]
I'm sure you're made for more than just fighting. If you like all of those things, then you should get the chance to enjoy them.
[And she'll rip apart anyone who says otherwise!]
no subject
[But the thing is, he also knows what happens when a sword made for fighting can no longer fight. That's why he doesn't mind looking elsewhere for things that he can be good at - because at least then he'll still have some worth even if he ends up in a situation like before.
But that's all gloomy and awful and so he waves around his mask-holding hand as if to wave the topic itself away.]
But yeah, it's a total "whatever"! I'm always telling those guys that they need to expand their horizons a little more too, but some swords are only happy if they can be swords, y'know? I spent a long time with a guy who's exactly like that. Their heads are usually suuuper thick so it's hard to get anything through!
no subject
[Because okay yes, she's not sure what other purposes swords have if not for fighting? But she's always so bad at choosing her words.... Even as he goes on, she's just going to shake her head.]
I don't understand.
You don't have to see yourself as... just a sword, right? Because you are a sword but you're also a lot more than that, because most swords they're just - well, they're blades and metal. But you have a voice, and people who care about you, and.... and things like hobbies and what you like to eat and you're all very different from each other!
If you're different from everyone else then it's just like how people are.... And I think you're acceptable as you are, as both a sword and a type of person.
["""Acceptable"""
Yeah, that's as close as she'll get to admitting that she likes him as he is. Her wording was already very clumsy.]
So I hope you don't listen to them at all -- I'm rather sure they're going about it all wrong.
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If the topic wasn't something he was relatively uncomfortable with, he'd entirely call her out on that... But it is discomforting, because he has - and likely always will - struggle to balance his identity as Kashuu Kiyomitsu the sword, and Kashuu Kiyomitsu the tsukumogami with a voice, people to care about, hobbies, and favorite foods.]
Aha... Hearing something like that isn't bad at all. [But then he's bouncing forward again, flipping the mask from one hand to the other.]
But! We should totally figure out how to get rid of these things, shouldn't we? It's hard to be cute when you're carrying around something super ugly and creepy. I don't like the looks people have been giving me, either.
no subject
Was what she said good then?
It makes her a little bit happy.
Then she's following after him, because she really.... really doesn't want to be alone in this crazy place anymore.
As for the mask--]
Well, they manage to get the useless people out of my way pretty quickly.
[So she's not getting harassed by carnies.... so they're not all bad.]
no subject
[Lili the verbal stampeder...
Either way, as soon as they start moving again, the carnies are definitely back to their "QUICK, LOOK AWAY" routine. Kashuu wasn't exactly a fan of their harassment either, but this is almost worse to him...]
This is stupid! They won't even look at us!
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