[lili contemplates that... and she still finds herself unable to entirely relate. though she's at least glad they were able to find friends eventually...]
Yes, I think so.
She's my only friend in the world.
[though lili just sounds more fond than anything, rather than sad about it. she adores yona]
[she fusses with her hair then - because she doesn't know if she would be. because there are still so many things that she doesn't know how to do, but she has to learn. she has to try.]
To me it seems there are a few options. Being fine on your own, not being fine on your own, being fine with other people, not being fine with other people.
Just because a person was fine on their own previously doesn't mean it will continue to always be the case. That's all.
It's not an easy skill to master, truthfully. [That is to say he's also still a picky bitch, but it's fine.] I think it's just hard to imagine really being on your own. That's all.
Then what is it? [Look he's had sixteen years babysitting his emotionally stunted brother, he can at least needle and pry at Lili until she answers or tells him to fuck off.]
How rude. I'm listening to you right now. [That's not what she means and he's aware.] People listened to you during the trial, did they not? Even if they didn't have a reason to.
[Did Hisoka ever find out it was Lili? We don't know.]
You can't say "it doesn't matter what I say" and "I had something worthwhile to say" in the same sentence, moron. That's not how this works. [Casually pointing that out, and maybe if he makes this a little less serious she'll lighten up a little.]
It was still people listening to you on your own merit because people cared and you helped assure them things wouldn't be as horrible as they could be. If that doesn't count, I'm not sure what does.
Supposedly we're only going to really accomplish what we need to if we listen to each other in the first place, so you're a step ahead. [This whole thing is still hard to wrap his head around.]
But you've thrust yourself into the spotlight. People will look to you for information now. So…prepare for that.
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Yes, I think so.
She's my only friend in the world.
[though lili just sounds more fond than anything, rather than sad about it. she adores yona]
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... I don't need any more friends, then. I've always been fine on my own.
[no she hasn't]
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As admirable as I think that is, I'm not sure about that. [...] Do you suppose you'd be fine here on your own then?
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[she fusses with her hair then - because she doesn't know if she would be. because there are still so many things that she doesn't know how to do, but she has to learn. she has to try.]
Not being fine?
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Just because a person was fine on their own previously doesn't mean it will continue to always be the case. That's all.
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[she's slow to admit it, but it sure does sound like a fact to her.]
So I still only have two options.
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... good.
I don't want you to know what it feels like.
[kaoru is better with people than she is, after all.]
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...I'm not going to force you to talk to other people. But you do have a choice here.
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[she's not afraid of much and it's not like she shies away from it
it's more just that she ends up disliked a lot of the time, and she expects it to be the same here
but even she can recognize that sounds pathetic so she doesn't give voice to it]
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It doesn’t matter what I say. Most people don’t care about whatever it is. I’m not charismatic enough to get people to listen to me on my own merit.
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[Did Hisoka ever find out it was Lili? We don't know.]
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That's because I had something worthwhile to say -
If they didn't listen to me then, they'd be stupid!
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It was still people listening to you on your own merit because people cared and you helped assure them things wouldn't be as horrible as they could be. If that doesn't count, I'm not sure what does.
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she just sighs then and looks away from him - because he has a point and she can't find a way to argue it but]
That's just here....
[so it? doesn't count? obviously?]
It doesn't matter, as long as I accomplish what I need to.
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But you've thrust yourself into the spotlight. People will look to you for information now. So…prepare for that.