coastal | [ kara & lili are romance, somehow ]

...I'm still here. We won't need him to do that. [ as much as kara would prefer to have him here. ] He'll just have to help from... wherever they sent him. Maybe they'll get different information again.

And I'm going to talk to Winter soon, to see what else we can find out about how to stop this, and... the consequences they said we'll face.

.... I know. I'm going to put him to work as soon as I can. It's the least that he can do, all things considered.

[but she listens to ookurikara and... sighs. she really is sighing so much today. she wraps her knife and wanders closer to him, moving to take his hand again. it feels better - to have him near.]

I'll talk to the other two then. Tomorrow is the full week mark for us breaking their rule - so I suppose we'll see what's coming.

[ i thought i tagged and then i looked and apparently dw lost the whole thing, rip. ]

Whatever happens, I'd rather you know than not. We'll just have to be more careful, with the others. [ disdain drips from his voice; kara has never liked keeping such important secrets when it matters most. but he won't endanger anyone else, if he can help it. ] We'll work around that, once we have our... punishment.

[ such as that is.

they've both been very careful this week, with the skin to skin effects. courting or not, there's been no need to risk the inconvenience, and they were never that physically affectionate in the first place, so it's easy enough.

but even so, kara finds himself gently tugging lili closer, relying on the layers of clothing they both wear to allow them a careful hug. the others would do this, when someone was upset, or angry. lili is both of those things, and though kara still isn't certain that it's the right thing to do, it's worth trying, if it will help her. especially now, when tsuru's left them both behind again. ]

[dw said stop your hets.

lili's about to respond to that, because she feels the same way - she stands by her original logic. her most closely guarded secret should also be guarded by ookurikara. being able to be honest with him matters far more to her than any sense of safety.

but then he pulls her closer - and she looks surprised at the gesture. it flusters her at first, because of course it does, and her cheeks warm despite herself.]

Hey—

[she's about to tsun a bit - but she finds herself looking up at him, and her hands rest on his shoulders if only because there's nowhere else to really put them. she peers at his face, confused.]

... are you al— [no, stupid question. of course he's not alright. they've both lost a friend.] ... How are you feeling?

[ there's a long pause, as ookurikara considers the question. how does he answer? does he even know the answer, or is this just another vague human thing he'll never fully understand? ]

...I'm angry, [ is what he settles on. but of course, lili will know that. ] That Tsuru took that risk despite what happened in the village. It was... stupid, and I know he can do better than that.

[ he sighs, suddenly very tired. with that, the anger drains from him, leaving only a hollow feeling in his chest, and a thread of sorrow in his voice. ]

He promised he wouldn't leave us this time.

[ . . . lili is careful, adjusting her sleeves to make sure that it covers her wrists even in the places that her gloves can't reach. she's slow and gentle as she lets her arms loop around ookurikara's neck, returning the hug and encouraging him closer to her.

it's - embarrassing. it is. she's an idiot. but hearing him speak, it pulls at her heart, and makes her wish that she knew how to erase every bad feeling that's sitting with him.]

... He did.

[ . . . ]

I miss him, too.

[because no matter how angry they are at him - she'd said in the trial. he's an idiot, but he's their idiot. and lili can recognize that tsuru is even more kara's idiot than he is hers.]

[ his sleeves have been rolled down all week, so there is no need for kara to adjust for a proper hug. he keeps his grip loose, still unwilling to hold on too tightly. ]

It took eight weeks to fix, last time.

[ it shouldn't matter, to someone who has over eight hundred years behind him. it shouldn't matter, when he's used to being left behind. maybe it's the human factor that makes it harder, or maybe it's the fact that they'd only just gotten tsuru back before this happened again. it doesn't matter why; ookurikara still wishes they could just fix it now, and bee done with it. ]

[there's no way for her to promise anything with concrete times. if she could, she'd claim to get tsurumaru back as soon as tomorrow - but that's not possible, and she hates lying. there's nothing worse than getting someone's hopes up and not being able to follow through.

she's idealistic, but she's not delusional. she lets her head rest on kara's shoulder even as she remains close, because even if they're not always physically affectionate - it's at least a reminder that she's there. right there.]

... none of us are going to waste any time. We'll work to the best of our ability.

[ . . . ]

I still - want to promise you more than that.

[even though she knows that she can't - but she'll try]

I'm not asking for more.

[ he'd like to demand more, from both the directors and everyone here, but it isn't practical. wars are never so easy, never black and white, even when the side he serves is clear as day. there is only so much they can do, to work within the limitations enforced upon them.

as long as no one sabotages them - as long as no one here kills for sport even without some kind of outside influence... that's all he can ask. ]

...His sword isn't broken.

[ kara isn't sure if lili saw that part, but. he has no idea what to think of that. ]

[it's soft, and brief if he wants to talk about something else, but she still answers - ]

Even if you aren't asking... I want to give you more.

[she wants to give ookurikara everything. for being one of the few people who believes in her, who doesn't think she's fragile, and is willing to bet so much on her. and because he's ached so much over centuries, and because he deserves it, and because she—

... no, it's not time to think about that.]

... they said he's in safe hands. Whatever that means. So... if he's unbroken, maybe even if he isn't here, it's confirmation he's somewhere else.

Are you going to keep him with you?

[ the thing is, he knows she wants to give more. it's what she always does, giving everything for the ones she's cares about, until she can't anymore. where that line lies is what worries ookurikara - he doesn't want her to push too far, especially not for his sake. he would rather break a second time, even if it is a safe place. how safe is anyplace here, really, now that the worst part has begun?

kara shakes his head. ]

Yeah. He'll be safest with me, for now. [ . . . ] And if I break, either you or the other two can take care of him.

[ . . . . hearing him say it makes her tense, because of course it does. she forces herself to relax with a breath, pressing her forehead to his shoulder to obscure her conflicted expression. right. that's a possibility, even if - ]

... You know I don't like hearing that - but... I'll take care of whatever needs to be done, if that's the case.

And I'm not in a rush to die either but... I trust you to do the same.

I have no intention of breaking, but we have to be prepared for it. You know that.

[ as she nestles against his shoulder, kara arms settle loosely around her waist. there's a part of him that rebels at the idea of someone else wielding his own sword, now that he is able to do it himself. if it's lili, though... maybe that's fine. she understands the weight of it better than anyone else, and ookurikara knows she would protect them to her last breath.

all the same... ]

There are bits and pieces of things here that are like past experiences, [ he says slowly. ] Not just the village, but everywhere. If the conditions to beat them are the same as ours... then I want to be the last. But I don't know how to get there yet.

[ . . . . she thinks about that, and if they'd be able to manage it. there are so many people here that lili is learning to trust, but shess was an anomaly in the sense that he knew what to say to win just about anyone over. and even though she can trust everything in ookurikara's hands...]

... we need more information first - and we can continue to work on building people to trust, too. I want it to be you, too. [because it's a given, that lili would sooner give her life if it came between the two of them, because she knows it would all turn out safe.]

There are some places where they didn't need to kill all but one - but they had to fight something else. An entity, or a person that's been manipulated. It may be one of those, too.

I know we do. Winter wasn't exactly forthcoming today.

[ he gets it, mostly, but that doesn't stop it from being annoying. at least mikazuki tried to get around their rules, without entirely breaking them. ]

It will be easier if we have something to fight besides each other, instead of another form of corruption. I just don't want to wait around without any way to stop this while we wait for the information to come.

... try talking to Purple. They aren't bad - a little too friendly for my taste, but I think... after today, they're even more willing to help.

[but she nods at that]

There's more for us to do, I think. Determine who we can trust, determine who needs to be protected, ensuring that everyone has someone they can be with on Thursdays...

Akira approached me for an alliance, and I've agreed to work with Dick since you said you wanted to cooperate with him.

...Winter is afraid. That's all. But talking to all of them won't hurt.

[ as much as he. doesn't particularly want to. purple's the one who chose both tsuru and lili - will they really be able to help lili, after failing once already?

he pushes that thought out of his mind. best to focus on things they can control, then. lili is right, in that regard, even if ookurikara still isn't thrilled to have to seek others out. it's exhausting in the best of times, let alone in a situation such as this. ]

Akira... Ash trusts him, too. [ and kara is starting to think that ash is worth having on their side. maybe they should have a talk about alliances, or at least kara should talk to akira again. ugh. ] What are you planning to do with this alliance?

[ . . . afraid. well, lili of all people can't really blame people for being afraid. even though she knows just how detrimental it can be to a person.

though at the question, lili just sighs.]

The same thing that I intend to do with all the other people who want to gather up alliances - share information, generate ideas for causing some trouble, and see if there's anything I'm missing.

At the moment, I'm assuming Ash and Akira more or less come as a set, as their loyalties to each other will outweigh whatever trust they put in me. Yin Yu seems especially attached to Flayn, but I think he's put some level of belief in me personally. Dimitri is someone that I respect, and think can be trustworthy too, even now.

[even tho he seemed to be unraveling a bit during trial,]

So... I'm willing to work with them - as well as Dick, who is probably in turn closely working with Wei Wuxian since they talked about me. I like Magnus too but... well, he's admittedly that he will still lie about things he deems unimportant. I need to know him better before relying on him more.

That's fine with me. I was thinking we could work with Ash, anyway. He's a good fighter, with a good head on his shoulders. And Dimitri will help us, if he can.

[ why does he sound so confident. ]

...The question with Magnus is where he draws that line. If how he acted the other night is normal, he'll be reliable for situations where we might be in danger, but I can't trust someone who picks and chooses their truths so easily.

Huh... hearing you actually talk positively about people is different - but I don't hate it.

[it's nice, to think that ookurikara is learning to cooperate with others. she hopes that'll continue to be the case, as long as other people don't shove their heads in their asses.]

... I think the other night is normal. I just think he likes to make jokes and lie a lot about things that he says don't matter. I think he'd also lie to protect Taako if it's not a case of corruption or possession but... I don't know if I can entirely blame him that.

If we really are going to be entirely in our right minds moving forward... things change.

[even lili's honesty policy might be at stake, if it comes to protecting ookurikara]

[ ookurikara pulls away at that, shaking his head. ]

Even if that is the case - especially if it is - doesn't that mean we should try harder? We're already at a disadvantage with this place taking our ability to confess, if something happens. Lying to cover it up more just makes it that much more likely that the wrong person will be sent to execution.

[oh, arms empty - she awkwardly crosses them in front of her instead. just to have something to do.]

That depends on if there's only one casualty. You didn't get caught when you killed Kaoru, right? On purpose.

[and while she knows that ookurikara would've owned up to it, he also didn't volunteer the information, and she can't fault him for that considering the circumstances.]

I know that you and I will never stand idly by and allow someone innocent to be punished - and if it comes to having to choose to condemn someone who killed in self-defense, or someone who didn't kill at all, the answer is clear. And they should volunteer that information as soon as possible so we don't waste time but...

But moving forward... we don't know what anything's going to look like, or why people would want to harm each other at all.

I only kept that secret because it was his plan. If it weren't for that, I would have told them everything.

That's why I won't trust someone who lies like that. We can't know why they'd kill of their own volition, but it'll help us all more in the long run if they come forward about it. Lying will only make us trust them less, waste our time, and let a killer go free.

[ . . . she thinks again that ookurikara really is her favorite person. because everything he says resonates with her, and it's how she wants to conduct herself. she's not surprised that that's how he wants to conduct himself too.

but she'll press her fingers to her lips and then raise her hand up to press them to his cheek again.]

You don't have to tell me that.

But other people might not be the same. I can deal with them though, if that's easier.

[because even if lili agrees with kara's ideals - she can maybe understand the fear of losing someone you love a bit, too.]

We'll all have to deal with them, the longer this goes on. And the more we all lie to each other, the harder it will be to win this war.

[ ookurikara has never cared for politics such as that. lying and intrigue... they aren't new to battles, but they always get in the way. in this place, even without nobility or governance as prize, this is no different. it just gives him one more reason to prefer working alone. ]

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coastal - 2020-06-16 03:16 (UTC) - Expand