[ it's a little while after things have shaken out, when yin yu reports to lili again. he's not one to be intrusive, and it's only when the dust has finally settled, and the night is quiet, that he more or less appears at her side.
as has become routine, he'll push his mask back up to the side of his head now that no one else is around, and greet her properly, the motions of a job he's known. ] Lady... [ ...mn. ] Lili.
[ there's no reason other than to confer, and to check on her well being.
[ ah. yin yu nods at the praise, dropping his hands from the proper greeting--he wouldn't be much if he couldn't do his job--but the second part is a bit more surprising. his eyes widen, obviously so even in the low bonfire light. ]
Forgive my directness, but...What do you have to apologize for?
...Is it alright if I join you? [ a brief moment to ask for permission. but, if given, or at least not expressly denied, he moves to sit down, leaving a decent amount of space between them, and folding his hands in his lap as he decides on how to respond. ]
...In this situation, I am not so concerned about who did what that I would think that you misled me, or anyone else. You were rightly afraid and angry for the unsolved death of your friend, and... reality is often more complicated than we want it to be. [ talk about a trial in shades of gray. the look on that young man's face as yin yu examined his hands is stuck in the back of his mind, replaying the details of the day, and his final confession had only made it more real. evan is only a child. a terrified one, nonetheless, who did everything in his power to try and prevent what happened.
but there is no changing the results, nor is there a chance to take them back. no chance to shake the dead and yell at them for their mistakes. barely a chance to tell the living, "we're so sorry."
what an utterly hollow 'victory'. if you could even call it that. ] It would have been much easier, to have a concrete villain and somewhere to throw stones.
[ . . . she breathes in, and then sighs. she doesn't speak against him, doesn't argue, and doesn't yet lift her head. what sort of expression must she be making? something truly conflicted, she's sure. the ache of losing a friend isn't yet gone, but her anger.
oh, her anger eats at every inch of her.]
.... whatever is keeping those three from speaking. Whatever curse has unfurled upon this place. Whatever brought us here to begin with.
That's my enemy.
[and she knows that, she can acknowledge that]
... but I still need to acknowledge what my friend is done, and all the people it's hurt.
[ he nods. it isn't all lili's fault; that's how it sounded at first, and it's reassuring to hear otherwise. the levelheaded assessment of the situation at hand is exactly right. ]
...Then in that case, it's forgiven, and I will do my best to help you in your quest. [ he leans forward on his thighs, watching the bonfire flicker for a long moment, letting the silence fall. he doesn't need to repeat a platitude about who their real enemy is, because she knows as well as he does. there's at least that sense of camaraderie among every one of these veterans, especially once the camp counselors proved to be just as lost as they were. all they can do is look forward. (right now, all they can do is wait.)
he looks to his side, at lili again, reflecting on her expression. it's hard to see anything, but he can hazard a guess at the frustration. the feeling of helplessness, like ramming into the director's doors. how frustrated, how angry, how bitter. accidents leave behind collateral damage, and he knows it better than anyone. so, when yin yu finally speaks up again, it seems a bit out of nowhere. ] ...Earlier in the week, you mentioned to me that you would like to defend yourself, but you've been learning with others too, haven't you?
[ he's thinking about jian yu, the way he bubbled with anger and fury in yin yu's office once upon a time, pacing back and forth, and how calming him felt impossible, until he suggested a spar and they traded blows until they were both dropped on the ground and panting like immature children again, a shixiong and his shidi instead of...
...it's irrelevant. yin yu shakes his head, biting back the swell of it. he's not quite uneasy as he explains himself, but there's a teeming emotion to it, something held back at the surface. distract, distract, distract. work, work, work.] ... I am not one to sit with idle hands, Lady Lili.
[ it's too easy to think, then. to let all of your emotions overwhelm you, until they swallow you whole. he stands again, brushing his gloved hands off on his thighs. ] If you would take some time with this ser-- with me before the evening ends, I would like to see your skills.
[ . . . well, that's something, isn't it? it gives her something to do instead of staring into this firing, thinking of plans that she can't put into action just yet. when he offers, she just sighs and then moves to stand along with him. she nods at the suggestion.]
Very well - I'll do what I can.
[because there's no denying that - no matter what, she's still angry.
it's a constant, for lili. to be so full of rage and contempt for injustice, but more than that to be someone who is constantly dancing on the razor blade of simmering ember and an out of control fire. how could she truly belong to the water tribe when there's always something licking at her veins, telling her to move?
now, more than ever she feels it - the way that this rage is eating at her with no place to go.]
I intend to continue my studies with as many people are willing to instruct me.
[ he nods. if nothing, it might be good for the both of them. yin yu could use a clear head, after the events that transpired, and while he's usually more the type to work himself until he can't think, taking a few moments to teach someone else might be just the work that he needs. he doesn't mind playing punching bag. (although he's fairly sure, it won't be that bad... but, looks can be decieving.)
so! he leads lili out to a clearer patch away from the bonfire, where there's a bit more space. he reaches up to adjust his mask at the top of his head so it's secure, letting some of the jitters of the evening run through his muscles, feeling for the lightness of fighting, of his martial arts. it's an old security blanket, now, something he has always relied upon, a skill that he worked hard at, that he knows, at one time, he excelled at. ] ...If it would be alright, I'd like to see what you've already learned. Can you throw a punch?
[ he lifts up either of his hands, as if there were pads on them. they're still gloved, so. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
posttrial w0!
as has become routine, he'll push his mask back up to the side of his head now that no one else is around, and greet her properly, the motions of a job he's known. ] Lady... [ ...mn. ] Lili.
[ there's no reason other than to confer, and to check on her well being.
what a night. ]
no subject
... you did well assisting me today, Yin Yu.
[and she gives a long, long sigh]
... and I'm sorry.
no subject
Forgive my directness, but...What do you have to apologize for?
no subject
I - He's my friend... and I was so... adamant that he was a victim. And - he is. But so much of this is... more his fault than I thought.
And words aren't enough - to make up for this. But... his struggles are my struggles.
So I need to carry them.
no subject
...Is it alright if I join you? [ a brief moment to ask for permission. but, if given, or at least not expressly denied, he moves to sit down, leaving a decent amount of space between them, and folding his hands in his lap as he decides on how to respond. ]
...In this situation, I am not so concerned about who did what that I would think that you misled me, or anyone else. You were rightly afraid and angry for the unsolved death of your friend, and... reality is often more complicated than we want it to be. [ talk about a trial in shades of gray. the look on that young man's face as yin yu examined his hands is stuck in the back of his mind, replaying the details of the day, and his final confession had only made it more real. evan is only a child. a terrified one, nonetheless, who did everything in his power to try and prevent what happened.
but there is no changing the results, nor is there a chance to take them back. no chance to shake the dead and yell at them for their mistakes. barely a chance to tell the living, "we're so sorry."
what an utterly hollow 'victory'. if you could even call it that. ] It would have been much easier, to have a concrete villain and somewhere to throw stones.
no subject
oh, her anger eats at every inch of her.]
.... whatever is keeping those three from speaking. Whatever curse has unfurled upon this place. Whatever brought us here to begin with.
That's my enemy.
[and she knows that, she can acknowledge that]
... but I still need to acknowledge what my friend is done, and all the people it's hurt.
no subject
...Then in that case, it's forgiven, and I will do my best to help you in your quest. [ he leans forward on his thighs, watching the bonfire flicker for a long moment, letting the silence fall. he doesn't need to repeat a platitude about who their real enemy is, because she knows as well as he does. there's at least that sense of camaraderie among every one of these veterans, especially once the camp counselors proved to be just as lost as they were. all they can do is look forward. (right now, all they can do is wait.)
he looks to his side, at lili again, reflecting on her expression. it's hard to see anything, but he can hazard a guess at the frustration. the feeling of helplessness, like ramming into the director's doors. how frustrated, how angry, how bitter. accidents leave behind collateral damage, and he knows it better than anyone. so, when yin yu finally speaks up again, it seems a bit out of nowhere. ] ...Earlier in the week, you mentioned to me that you would like to defend yourself, but you've been learning with others too, haven't you?
[ he's thinking about jian yu, the way he bubbled with anger and fury in yin yu's office once upon a time, pacing back and forth, and how calming him felt impossible, until he suggested a spar and they traded blows until they were both dropped on the ground and panting like immature children again, a shixiong and his shidi instead of...
...it's irrelevant. yin yu shakes his head, biting back the swell of it. he's not quite uneasy as he explains himself, but there's a teeming emotion to it, something held back at the surface. distract, distract, distract. work, work, work.] ... I am not one to sit with idle hands, Lady Lili.
[ it's too easy to think, then. to let all of your emotions overwhelm you, until they swallow you whole. he stands again, brushing his gloved hands off on his thighs. ] If you would take some time with this ser-- with me before the evening ends, I would like to see your skills.
no subject
Very well - I'll do what I can.
[because there's no denying that - no matter what, she's still angry.
it's a constant, for lili. to be so full of rage and contempt for injustice, but more than that to be someone who is constantly dancing on the razor blade of simmering ember and an out of control fire. how could she truly belong to the water tribe when there's always something licking at her veins, telling her to move?
now, more than ever she feels it - the way that this rage is eating at her with no place to go.]
I intend to continue my studies with as many people are willing to instruct me.
no subject
so! he leads lili out to a clearer patch away from the bonfire, where there's a bit more space. he reaches up to adjust his mask at the top of his head so it's secure, letting some of the jitters of the evening run through his muscles, feeling for the lightness of fighting, of his martial arts. it's an old security blanket, now, something he has always relied upon, a skill that he worked hard at, that he knows, at one time, he excelled at. ] ...If it would be alright, I'd like to see what you've already learned. Can you throw a punch?
[ he lifts up either of his hands, as if there were pads on them. they're still gloved, so. ]