she turns red... of course she does... i hate this.]
I... I can't really do much else so....!
[she'll put the tray aside but once her hands are free, it. uh. reveals a flower crown that she was holding onto, that was obscured by the tray. she... offers it out to him. the most prominent flowers in it are daffodils and anemones....]
... and... take this....
[she is so out of her depth, she is so embarrassed]
[the familiar language of flowers speaks to him when she presents the flower crown. it's so lovely that zenitsu finds himself speechless at first. as he reaches out to accept the wreath, his tone is deeply grateful.]
You made this for me? It looks beautiful! Thank you, Lili . . . I'll treasure it always!
[she is trying not to touch anyone this week it's going to have to be purely an accident
but she'll just.... agree with that. he's so happy. she's so awkward. she'll move to sit with him so they can partake in the meal. maybe she brought extra utensils in case kara or dimitri was home and wanted any....]
.... if you're sure.
Kara's a better cook than I am, so it probably would've come out better if he did it...
[ . . . . he's so nice. he's just so nice and she doesn't know what to do with it. but she's just going to eat quietly - and shake her head.
if he wants to be productive, they can be productive. she doesn't mind letting all the information she has leave her in a torrent]
No... Winter Wizard won. We think there's four variations of items, with two copies of each item since there's eight members left. There's one projectile, one that will cause pain for 24 hours, one that can 'take a hit' for you, and one that will summon a monster that can either attack or defend. I know where five of the eight items are, but I'm still looking for the rest.
My team is Purple Heart - my power is Draw the Line. I can cast one illusion on one person each week.
[ . . . ]
I owe you from last week so... thanks for telling me.
[it's truly fortunate that lili is a girl, or he might not have been as nice.
all but one of those items sound terrible. he's also floored by the sheer amount of information she's got to share, and it's apparent from the initially stunned look on his face.]
You found all of that out on your own? That's awesome! You don't have to thank me, though.
Even though you didn't win, you still got something, right?
It wasn't just me... People are sort of collecting information and then seeing how to compile it. The fact that they're willing to trust me is weird, but I have to use everything I can in this place.
[ . . . ]
But I do have the item you gave me. So... I might be able to use it if someone ever attacks me. I'm grateful for that.
[maybe hearing things like this on the regular will calm her rage some.]
Sure you are. You stayed with me when I panicked during trial the other week, and you even went through the trouble of making all this for me.
[he pauses.]
I never thanked you properly for that, did I?
[withdrawing his chopsticks, he uses his left hand to fish out a stack of sticky notes from his pocket.]
Here—my team didn't win, but I got these as a consolation prize. Aren't they cute? I know all the prizes are pink, but pink maneki-neko are said to attract love and romance. The left paw is supposed to help business boom. Did you get these, too?
No... I got some kind of balloon. I don't really carry those things with me. [but she just huffs a laugh] Maybe you'll get better luck with love this time.
[no reason not to hope for him]
But you don't really need to thank me for everything else.
his gaze loses focus for a passing moment, then regains its clarity as he sets the chopstick down to split the sticky notes in half. he holds out the bottom half to her.]
You never know when you might need something to write on. Maybe the left paw will help you with finding what you need to know.
[a boom in the information business, so to speak.]
[ - and it's as she takes the bottom half that their hands brush.
and despite the one sentence she uttered, her emotions betray a lot more of what she's feeling. for one, there's the acceptance of the sticky notes - coupled with an underlying thrum of what can only be called determination. desperation. the way that lili proceeds in all things, that she'll accept everything even if she doesn't deserve it, because she needs to take everything she can in order to succeed.
but she doesn't deserve it. the bewilderment is stronger, the confusion over being given something - from someone so kind. the oddity of what it's like to be given without having to make demands or give instruction. it's a new feeling, one that has only been known since zenitsu first offered his power without having to be asked. there's an acknowledgment that she doesn't deserve this, given how she wronged him before - guilt swirling in the background.
and then there is the final piece: the tiny, chirping, happy feeling of someone who gets to receive for once. it's nearly smothered by everything else. but it's there. fragile and easy to miss.]
[and with the notes, he passes on to her his hope—hope that this will help her even in the slightest, because his self-doubt looms ever behind him. at its core is resignation to the fact that he'll never amount to anything, leaving him with the buzzing yearning for love that borders on painful by sending a pang through his heart. (and yet, despite all that, he continues to hope that maybe next time someone will love, because it's him.)
but at the forefront are awe and admiration for the resolute girl before him, who always picks herself back up with that no-nonsense attitude of hers. behind them is adoration for a girl who demanded a conversation about his artificial troubles, impressing on him that he wasn't (for once) at fault for what had happened; who considered his hurts and came to him with nothing but kindness in her meal and gift. this is a beautiful girl, he feels with confidence, who can and will make a difference.
all the respect he has to give is the reason he blinks and looks at her in baffled surprise at what he receives in return. the guilt, bewilderment, and desperation—by the time he runs through them again, they've already faded.
but he'll never forget that small spark of happiness.]
[he barely knows anything about her. it creates resistance in the echoes of their connection, almost defensive. like she can't let herself believe the nice things that he's thinking, because it'd be dangerous. there's always a chance that he's going to change his mind, once he gets to know more about her.
and so she pulls her hand away like she's been burned - but the connection lasts for five seconds afterward, and lili has plenty of emotions to that can fill five seconds.
because there is something about his impression of her that aches, that squeezes her heart in a way that's almost painful. there's a whisper of i want to believe you, because lili is greedy. she is always wanting. she wants to take everything that she's given, even kindness that she's not sure that she deserves. the makes tears gather at the edges of her eyes as she always, always reaches for some nebulous idea that everything that she does might be worth it -
even as it wars with the understanding that she doesn't. how can she focus on herself when there is so much about him that still yearns for affection the same way that she does? when he deserves it far more, because he knows how to say nice things, and he knows how to give to others?
she looks away, as if it'll hide the emotions that are plain on her face.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
she turns red... of course she does... i hate this.]
I... I can't really do much else so....!
[she'll put the tray aside but once her hands are free, it. uh. reveals a flower crown that she was holding onto, that was obscured by the tray. she... offers it out to him. the most prominent flowers in it are daffodils and anemones....]
... and... take this....
[she is so out of her depth, she is so embarrassed]
no subject
You made this for me? It looks beautiful! Thank you, Lili . . . I'll treasure it always!
no subject
so happy about it
and she is so embarrassed and it's why she's going to look stubbornly at the floor.]
Y-You.... It's not that big of a deal, is it...
[she wanted him to like it, because she wanted to make him happy to make up for the weekend but
oh my god.]
no subject
It is! I can tell that you've put a lot of thought into this . . .
[his smile seems to freeze as he stares down at the flower crown for a lingering moment. then he looks up and motions to the tray of food.]
Have you eaten already? If not, I don't mind sharing with you. Food tastes best when you eat with someone, after all!
no subject
... I can have a little, if you want to share.
[it seems that today and just today, lili is willing to give zenitsu what he wants]
no subject
Of course! You worked hard on this meal, didn't you? I don't want a single bite to go to waste. Come on.
[stepping away to gingerly place the flower crown down on the pillow of his designated bunk, he comes back to partake of their shared meal.]
no subject
but she'll just.... agree with that. he's so happy. she's so awkward. she'll move to sit with him so they can partake in the meal. maybe she brought extra utensils in case kara or dimitri was home and wanted any....]
.... if you're sure.
Kara's a better cook than I am, so it probably would've come out better if he did it...
[but she wanted to make it up to him]
no subject
Don't say that. Everything looks and smells amazing.
[he'll help himself right to it, starting with the unadon. blessed is he to have this opportunity.]
This is great!
no subject
and lili is just so embarrassed as she picks at some of the food, mostly eating around the corners so that he can help himself to the main meal.
also she likes seafood so she's going to be partaking in some of that from the udon but ssshhh.]
Y-You give compliments too freely...!
no subject
I'm not saying it for the sake of saying it, you know. The food's really that good! And it tastes even better when I'm eating with you.
[wow, he gets to eat with a girl as cute as lili. she's not even that terrifying right now. truly, blessed is he.]
no subject
THIS IS SO NICE AND SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT. SHE LOOKS AWAY BECAUSE SHE'S ABOUT AS RED AS A TOMATO RIGHT NOW]
Sh-Shut up...!
[she is so fucking weak and stupid]
no subject
by now he's noticed that she's picking at the seafood from the bowl, so he fishes a piece out for her.]
Here. Do you want some more?
no subject
zenitsu's real gift is the fact that lili has no idea what to do when someone is nice to her.
but she's just going to huff a little bit at that.... and take the piece of offered seafood, because.
she wants it.]
....................... you should be eating more too....
[that's
probably a 'thank you'?]
no subject
Don't worry. I'm going to enjoy your cooking to the fullest.
[saying this in an almost singsong tone, he starts on the udon. maybe they should use this time to be productive, too.]
Did your team win last week?
no subject
if he wants to be productive, they can be productive. she doesn't mind letting all the information she has leave her in a torrent]
No... Winter Wizard won. We think there's four variations of items, with two copies of each item since there's eight members left. There's one projectile, one that will cause pain for 24 hours, one that can 'take a hit' for you, and one that will summon a monster that can either attack or defend. I know where five of the eight items are, but I'm still looking for the rest.
My team is Purple Heart - my power is Draw the Line. I can cast one illusion on one person each week.
[ . . . ]
I owe you from last week so... thanks for telling me.
no subject
all but one of those items sound terrible. he's also floored by the sheer amount of information she's got to share, and it's apparent from the initially stunned look on his face.]
You found all of that out on your own? That's awesome! You don't have to thank me, though.
Even though you didn't win, you still got something, right?
no subject
It wasn't just me... People are sort of collecting information and then seeing how to compile it. The fact that they're willing to trust me is weird, but I have to use everything I can in this place.
[ . . . ]
But I do have the item you gave me. So... I might be able to use it if someone ever attacks me. I'm grateful for that.
no subject
That's because you care about everyone and doing the right thing. Who wouldn't want to help a person like that?
no subject
it's not like he's wrong
but.
hearing it said like that manages to startle her.]
.... saying it like that -
I don't know if... I'm the person you think...
[doesn't that make her sound too good?]
no subject
Sure you are. You stayed with me when I panicked during trial the other week, and you even went through the trouble of making all this for me.
[he pauses.]
I never thanked you properly for that, did I?
[withdrawing his chopsticks, he uses his left hand to fish out a stack of sticky notes from his pocket.]
Here—my team didn't win, but I got these as a consolation prize. Aren't they cute? I know all the prizes are pink, but pink maneki-neko are said to attract love and romance. The left paw is supposed to help business boom. Did you get these, too?
no subject
[no reason not to hope for him]
But you don't really need to thank me for everything else.
[it's just the right thing to do, isn't it?]
no subject
his gaze loses focus for a passing moment, then regains its clarity as he sets the chopstick down to split the sticky notes in half. he holds out the bottom half to her.]
You never know when you might need something to write on. Maybe the left paw will help you with finding what you need to know.
[a boom in the information business, so to speak.]
no subject
she'll take it, but.]
... why do you keep... giving me things?
[ - and it's as she takes the bottom half that their hands brush.
and despite the one sentence she uttered, her emotions betray a lot more of what she's feeling. for one, there's the acceptance of the sticky notes - coupled with an underlying thrum of what can only be called determination. desperation. the way that lili proceeds in all things, that she'll accept everything even if she doesn't deserve it, because she needs to take everything she can in order to succeed.
but she doesn't deserve it. the bewilderment is stronger, the confusion over being given something - from someone so kind. the oddity of what it's like to be given without having to make demands or give instruction. it's a new feeling, one that has only been known since zenitsu first offered his power without having to be asked. there's an acknowledgment that she doesn't deserve this, given how she wronged him before - guilt swirling in the background.
and then there is the final piece: the tiny, chirping, happy feeling of someone who gets to receive for once. it's nearly smothered by everything else. but it's there. fragile and easy to miss.]
no subject
but at the forefront are awe and admiration for the resolute girl before him, who always picks herself back up with that no-nonsense attitude of hers. behind them is adoration for a girl who demanded a conversation about his artificial troubles, impressing on him that he wasn't (for once) at fault for what had happened; who considered his hurts and came to him with nothing but kindness in her meal and gift. this is a beautiful girl, he feels with confidence, who can and will make a difference.
all the respect he has to give is the reason he blinks and looks at her in baffled surprise at what he receives in return. the guilt, bewilderment, and desperation—by the time he runs through them again, they've already faded.
but he'll never forget that small spark of happiness.]
Lili?
no subject
and so she pulls her hand away like she's been burned - but the connection lasts for five seconds afterward, and lili has plenty of emotions to that can fill five seconds.
because there is something about his impression of her that aches, that squeezes her heart in a way that's almost painful. there's a whisper of i want to believe you, because lili is greedy. she is always wanting. she wants to take everything that she's given, even kindness that she's not sure that she deserves. the makes tears gather at the edges of her eyes as she always, always reaches for some nebulous idea that everything that she does might be worth it -
even as it wars with the understanding that she doesn't. how can she focus on herself when there is so much about him that still yearns for affection the same way that she does? when he deserves it far more, because he knows how to say nice things, and he knows how to give to others?
she looks away, as if it'll hide the emotions that are plain on her face.]
Nevermind it.
(no subject)
i'm so mad at you jae
i am the victim, not the instigator