Yes, it's rather strange. [ MOVING THE FUCK ON ] It's mostly just that I have not met them in their human form before now, but Yamatonokami Yasusada definitely spoke to me as if he has.
There is a chance that Ookurikara and I are not from the same citadel. I don't actually know for certain, because of the potential for it just being different timelines instead, but it's still a rather high possibility. Mikazuki and I weren't.
... I'll keep your secret. [first off.] Because even for all that I hate not telling Ookurikara everything, I'd hate to overstep my place and betray you even more than that.
[and she admits that, frowning as she does. and it sucks, because ookurikara and lili tend to tell each other literally everything that's important. and this feels important. and she knows that he'll be upset with tsuru if it turns out to be true, but she wonders if he'll be upset with her too.
but when she really thinks about the right thing to do... it's this.]
But for every week you don't tell him, I get to smack you really hard.
[ for one, it kind of seems like a bad moment to give him this news right when they're transported to a new, unknown situation.
but also, this bus is small and tsurumaru would prefer if they did not get into an actual fight in such an enclosed space. there is a high chance someone else might get in the way. ]
[ it's not that he's not bothered by it... and if he's honest, tsurumaru is sure that he would have told ookurikara much sooner if he hadn't... well, died.
but he remembers what he had told mikazuki, about how they should try to open up even a little bit more to each other and not hold everything to themselves. lili and ookurikara aren't mikazuki, but they're both still important to him. shouldn't the same offer go to them as well? ]
[she could stand to say this with a little less confidence, maybe. but regardless she's just going to look at him for a little bit longer before her expression softens]
I may not be as strong as you or Ookurikara, but I've got an edge on the whole 'being a human and dealing with emotions' thing, you know? So... even if I'm not great at that either - I want to help you.
[ he pauses, wondering how to phrase this. or if he even should. ]
No matter what happens... I am ready to accept the outcome. But the longer I get to hang out with people like you, and get to experiences all of this... It's not that my resolve has become weak. But it makes me a little sad to think about it, and I hadn't considered it sad before.
I wish you wouldn't accept every outcome. I'd like it more if you felt more strongly about living, and wouldn't allow anything else to happen. But I know that's...
[she frowns. maybe it's not possible.]
I didn't care to give you some stupid dramatic goodbye because I was sure I was going to see you again, because nothing bad would happen to you.
[ that's the thing about war-- every time you step onto a battlefield, you must step onto it with the knowledge that it may be your final resting place.
of course he wants to live. he wants to return to his citadel and greet his saniwa, hoping to receive praise for another mission well done. he wants to prepare dinner with the other date swords, even if it's just him eating what they make and getting in their way. he wants to see how far lili has progressed in her training. he wants to feel mikazuki's warmth against his.
but, no matter what his wants are, at the end of the day he is still a weapon, and he accepts his duty as one without complaint. in the distant future, there may be a time where they defeate the retrograde army once and for all, and he might be able to live as normal of a life as someone like him can. but for now, that is a far off dream, and he must face the obstacles of today. ]
In that case... I will hold my fate to your belief, Lili An. If you say I will be fine, then it must be true.
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[she's actually not used to participating because nobility but
she'll do it for her swords]
It'd just be safer.
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There are other swords here as well, I'm not sure if you've run into them. None of them are from my citadel though.
[ yams: did kashuu miss me
tsuru, sweating: sure? ]
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Your citadel? There are different ones?
[he only told her his fucking canonpoint, but that didn't include being a different tsuru from kara's entirely
i hate this]
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AS HE SEEMS TO HAVE REALIZED HIS FUCKIN MISTAKE ]
Yes, it's rather strange. [ MOVING THE FUCK ON ] It's mostly just that I have not met them in their human form before now, but Yamatonokami Yasusada definitely spoke to me as if he has.
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a beat]
Tsurumaru?
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[ he just keeps talking as if he didn't say anything weird just now ]
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Does Ookurikara know they're not from your citadel?
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[ tsuru knows kara enough to know this. ]
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[she's staring him down because that pause was so fucking suspicious]
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[ that part technically isn't a lie??? ]
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[ . . . . ]
You know how much I hate people I trust hiding things from me, don't you?
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he sighs. ]
There is a chance that Ookurikara and I are not from the same citadel. I don't actually know for certain, because of the potential for it just being different timelines instead, but it's still a rather high possibility. Mikazuki and I weren't.
[1/2]
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[and she admits that, frowning as she does. and it sucks, because ookurikara and lili tend to tell each other literally everything that's important. and this feels important. and she knows that he'll be upset with tsuru if it turns out to be true, but she wonders if he'll be upset with her too.
but when she really thinks about the right thing to do... it's this.]
But for every week you don't tell him, I get to smack you really hard.
[it's a threat but not necessarily a promise]
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[ for one, it kind of seems like a bad moment to give him this news right when they're transported to a new, unknown situation.
but also, this bus is small and tsurumaru would prefer if they did not get into an actual fight in such an enclosed space. there is a high chance someone else might get in the way. ]
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[and in this case, specifically, she does. it's probably not a great set-up for it.
. . . ]
I'm sorry that I didn't notice all this time, either. Even if you aren't bothered by it, you probably carried that all by yourself, right?
We're.... friends. So you can rely on me more.
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but he remembers what he had told mikazuki, about how they should try to open up even a little bit more to each other and not hold everything to themselves. lili and ookurikara aren't mikazuki, but they're both still important to him. shouldn't the same offer go to them as well? ]
... I suppose so. [ ... ] No, you're right.
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[she could stand to say this with a little less confidence, maybe. but regardless she's just going to look at him for a little bit longer before her expression softens]
I may not be as strong as you or Ookurikara, but I've got an edge on the whole 'being a human and dealing with emotions' thing, you know? So... even if I'm not great at that either - I want to help you.
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closes it. hm. ]
I hope you will help me when he stabs me as well.
[ he's kidding
and also not, but it's mostly a joke ]
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[like
she's not kidding.]
No matter how mad at you he gets, I'll help because you're both probably too clumsy to repair it on your own in a timely manner.
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[ mikazuki was going to hijack tsuru's portal and try to save him but now tsuru is
kind of even more unsure? of what's going to happen?? it's fine. ]
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[ . . . . ]
Are you happy that you got a bit more time? Or did you just want to go back and finish? Your situation... it's different from others.
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[ he pauses, wondering how to phrase this. or if he even should. ]
No matter what happens... I am ready to accept the outcome. But the longer I get to hang out with people like you, and get to experiences all of this... It's not that my resolve has become weak. But it makes me a little sad to think about it, and I hadn't considered it sad before.
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I wish you wouldn't accept every outcome. I'd like it more if you felt more strongly about living, and wouldn't allow anything else to happen. But I know that's...
[she frowns. maybe it's not possible.]
I didn't care to give you some stupid dramatic goodbye because I was sure I was going to see you again, because nothing bad would happen to you.
I still won't accept anything else.
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of course he wants to live. he wants to return to his citadel and greet his saniwa, hoping to receive praise for another mission well done. he wants to prepare dinner with the other date swords, even if it's just him eating what they make and getting in their way. he wants to see how far lili has progressed in her training. he wants to feel mikazuki's warmth against his.
but, no matter what his wants are, at the end of the day he is still a weapon, and he accepts his duty as one without complaint. in the distant future, there may be a time where they defeate the retrograde army once and for all, and he might be able to live as normal of a life as someone like him can. but for now, that is a far off dream, and he must face the obstacles of today. ]
In that case... I will hold my fate to your belief, Lili An. If you say I will be fine, then it must be true.
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